Gimme
by Miss. Miyazawa
Summary: To cheer her up, Shigure tells Kagura what the first word she uttered as a baby was. And from there, their lives are further entangled. These are the events that shape them and the actualizations that follow.
1. First Word

Hello, hello, hello! After a long abscence, I am back with another fic. Gimme is dedicated to Peridot Scarves. Not only did she inspire me to write this, but she inspired me to write again in general. Thank you, Scarves-chan! If this turns out to be a success, she gets partial credit. If it sucks, feel free to throw bricks at her... Just kidding, Peri. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: After such a long abscence, I should be exempt from saying I don't this anime, shouldn't I? No? Okay. I don't own Fruits Basket.

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**Chapter One: First Word**

Her response to her dearth of inspiration was a wall of growing anxiety.

Kagura as usual procrastinated on her writing assignment; she was too easily distracted to concentrate on her studies. And she strongly believed that writing wasn't her forte. It was more Shigure's talent than hers, albeit the only literary genius he could conjure up was graphic at best. The Boar heavily considered relinquishing the notebook as blank as her mind presently to him at the risk of her essay becoming a beautifully detailed... Well, she didn't want to think of the trouble she'd get in if she turned anything from Shigure's mind in.

Her scattered attention span could mainly be attributed to one thing. Not one thing, but a person. A boy with hair the vivid color of tangerines...

Kagura's arm violently collided with the stack of books on her desk. Still smiling, she restored order to the wooden surface. The girl traced the deep indentation in the wall with her finger, its accumulation in size due to years of passionate musings about him.

"Gotta stop doing that," she muttered, returning to her seat.

Well she had made no progress just sitting there. Kagura decided that a walk was the best course of action for an uninspired soul.

She grabbed a scarlet jacket and slid it over her arms and back. She vacated her room and bounded down the stairs, yelling a quick, "I'm going out, mom!" in case her mother was interested in her comings and goings.

The night was chillier than Kagura initially expected. Adapting to the winter cold winds was a Herculean task, especially in a summer jacket. She tried her best at retaining her warmth by hoisting her shoulders to her ears and coiling her forearms around her waist.

"Recall a time when you were drawn from the depths of despair by another," she murmured, reiterating the essay topic she had been assigned for homework. No matter how hard she wrapped her mind around it, she couldn't focus on one person who had changed her life for the better. There were too many painful times in her young life to count. And she never liked dwelling on the dark side of her past.

_"Kagura, what are you doing out here alone?"_

The voice came from the walls of her mind. She stopped, eyes sliding to the porch of the dark house to her right.

As if controlled by a puppet master instead of her own free will, Kagura walked to the generous wooden surface in a trance-like manner. She sat down, the frigid material sizzling into her legs. It startled her at first, but she slowly accepted it.

_Just like the house_, she thought morbidly. She turned her head to gaze at the building. Like the wind-chilled wood, it was a cold place, devoid of love, of happiness, of any type of deep emotional family ties. Many of the memories of Akito's house were dark, sinister, to be swept away in shadows as cold as he was.

But there were times when the winds stopped blowing. There were snatches of times when the sun, golden and regal, commanded full court among the pure white clouds and rained not bad times and hardened voices, but smiles and maybe even a laugh or two.

There was one person who epitomized those times, those snatches of joy...

_

* * *

_

_"Kagura, what are you doing out here alone?"_

_A five-year-old Kagura looked up at the vocalist. Shigure peered down at her inquisitively, still in his school uniform. _

_A tremor shook her small body. He sensed that she trembled not only from the cold, but from deep sadness. He settled beside Kagura and coiled his arms around her like vines._

_"Something's wrong," he said, not issuing a question he already knew the answer to. "You want to tell me?"_

_Her first instinct was to tell him she had no desire to say anything. This incident had to be buried in her heart forever, never reaching another soul's ears. To admit to it, to allow it to reach the air, would be acknowledging its existence. No, she'd never repeat his cruel words. Never._

_The little girl looked into his eyes and suddenly was compelled to. There was...not pain. Pain didn't describe the emotion properly. Neither did anguish. There was a solemn, quiet death unfolding in his chocolate-chip brown orbs. This funeral procession trampled over her soul. Never again did she want to hurt him this way, especially since it was a sharp contrast to his usual mood._

_This was the wrong type of attention._

_Kagura couldn't lie to him. He wasn't a deceptive person, and so denying him the truth would be the equivalent of a heinous crime._

_"Shigure, am I too young to be in love?"_

_His lips formed an O. "Of course not, Kagura. Love is love, whether you feel it at five or forty."_

_"I love Kyou," she said. What she uttered wasn't an out-of-the-blue proclamation. It was widely known the extent her love went for him, a roaring tsunami at times, a turbulent river at others. Nevertheless, he allowed her to speak without interrupting._

_"Ever since...he held out his hand." Kagura offered her hand to the shadowy Sohma property as if reliving the incident, a simple, quiet event that merged simple affection with romantic love deeper than any canyon. The zephyr amused itself with her hair before lapsing into a death-like slumber for the moment._

_"Maybe...I should give up."_

_"Why? What brought this on all of a sudden?"_

_She gave him a grim smile. "He told me..." Saline water oozed from her storm-cloud grey eyes. This triggered a tightening of his arms around her._

_He didn't tell her not to cry, for which she was glad. "To tell a person not to cry," he once said, "is to tell them not to be human. Everyone needs to express themselves, and if tears is the only way for them at the moment, let them cry." For minutes on end, she fulfilled her emotional need, a torrential downpour over her pale cheeks._

_"He said he wished he had never offered his hand to me," she sobbed into her tiny hands. "To me, that day was special and..."_

_"That tactless little monkey!" he said sternly. "I never expected him to understand a woman's heart; he's too dense for that kind of thinking. But for him to be so cruel... Of course, Kagura, you always were strong. I know that you'll get through this. Don't get discouraged." A long pause. "I remember your first word."_

_She looked up from her saturated hands. "My first word?"_

_He smiled in reminiscence. "It wasn't the conventional mama or dada for you! I remember everything about that day. I was trying to get you to say my name. 'Gure, Gure,' I kept saying, hoping you'd at least say an abbreviated version if not the whole thing. And," he augmented his already large doe eyes, impersonating Kagura as an infant and drawing a laugh from her, "I was so excited when you said, 'Guh.' Just Guh._

_" 'Gure, Kagi-chan. C'mon, say it,' I coaxed. 'Guh Guh', you repeated. " _

_"That 'Guh' became a 'Giii'. And then, suddenly, you yelled, 'Giiiimmmmmeeee!' and pointed at the ice cream cone in my hand." Shigure laughed as she smiled. "And you punched me in the head since I said you were too young to partake of my ice cream," he added in a mock-wounded voice, pointing to the top of his cranium. "It's weird, but I always felt that you were intuitive, even as a baby, comprehending whole words and sentences before even being able to speak yourself._

_"The next word-- Well, I should say name-- you said was, 'Kyou.' You'd totter around, arms outstretched, yelling, 'Gimme Kyou, Gimme Kyou!' You know," he sank even deeper into nostalgia with another dreamy smile, "he really does love you, despite what you may think. And someday, he'll love you as much as you do him. It's just gonna take him a little longer for him to realize it since he's so dense." He pinched the round puffs of skin under her eyes, conjuring another joyous laugh. _

_"So, Kagura, since birth, you've always been..."_

_"Demanding?" she asked dully, eyes fading into a somber shade of grey._

_"Well, yeah. But also determined. Full of...resilience. I admire that. I know this'll sound corny, but follow your dreams. If everyone gave up, what do you think would get accomplished? Nothing. We Sohmas," he said with a tsunami of encouragement, "are strong. We always endure every hurtle in our way. Endure!" he cried at the moon, raising a fist in a fighter's stance._

_"Endure," Kagura echoed, then, in a stronger voice, "Endure!" and emulated Shigure's stance._

_"Shigure?"_

_"Hm?"_

_"Gimme!" And she lunged forward and fell into his surprised lips. Her arms orbited his neck, her frame merging with his._

_"Kagura?"_

_The vision of the passionate kiss faded from her sight. In confusion, she blinked._

_"Is something wrong? You looked spaced out for a second."_

_She shook her head. "I'm fine," she smiled. "I just want to say thank you."_

_With a hasty kiss stamped on his cheek, she got up and entered the house._

* * *

"I found it. My inspiration," she murmured to the night sky.

_The person who uplifted me. Who not only lifted me out of the depths of despair, but carried me out of it. Shigure-kun..._

She was actually excited about doing a homework assignment for once. Kagura stood up and dashed inside, ready to write about her voyeuristic yet sweet cousin.


	2. Undecided

Thank you, reviewers! I'm glad everything's going good so far. This is one of my favorite chapters and is in Shii-chan's POV. As usual, enjoy! Thank you, Peri Girl, for reviewing and I'm taking your advice! If I don't update immediately after chapter 4, it's because I'm rewriting chapters/editing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.

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**Chapter Two: Undecided **

The sound of numerous locker doors slamming was thunderous, surpassing the sound of an avalanche and practically in sync, as three high school boys journeyed down the corridor.

"So as I was saying..." Ayame snickered a dirty joke in Shigure's ear. The Dog immediately laughed, but then again, it didn't take much for his eyes to glow with amusement. Especially if the content was ridiculously lewd. Hatori shook his head, most likely regarding his wacky cousins as a nuisance. He was morbidly fearful for the future. They'd end up in prison someday, not for an extremely heinous offense, but for something silly, like being drunk in public.

"I got my Career Aptitude Test back, did you?" He knew the two goofballs did, yet wanted to steer the conversation into safer ground.

Shigure detected Hatori's method of diversion. But before he could dish out a rejoinder, Ayame leapt in.

"I did, I did!" he exclaimed, bright gold eyes gleaming with impish glee. "Guess what I should be according to this thing?"

"A clown?" Hatori guessed.

Ayame's head seemed to fall into his broad shoulders, a frown decking his lips. "Why, of course not, Ha'ri-san! What do you take me for, some kind of silly, not serious...person?" He pouted as if to persuade Hatori to say otherwise.

"Yes."

In fake tears, the Serpent rushed into Shigure's arms. "Oh, my darling Hatori-san has forsaken me! What shall I do?"

"Don't worry!" Shigure rested his head atop Ayame's silvery mass of long hair. "I see you as so much more than that! My darling love, don't despair any longer!"

As they flashed each other a thumb's up sign, their excluded companion shook his head.

"Well anyway," Ayame continued once he felt he got the proper amount of TLC, "I must become...a crack whore!"

"Be serious. What does it say?" Hatori snatched the piece of paper from his grip. "Actor. Interesting choice. You're dramatic enough." He handed it back to its rightful owner.

"Ha'ri, what does yours say?" Shigure inquired.

"A...," He looked away, "psychiatrist."

For some reason, Ayame and Shigure found this humorous and laughed loudly.

"What? Hanging around you two, is it any wonder? I'm surrounded by loons."

"Cute loons," Shigure said, clamoring to his cousin's side.

"Entertaining loons," Ayame agreed, dominating Hatori's unoccupied side. "Admit it, your life would be an academic bore without us!" He turned to Shigure. "And what did you get?"

The question pierced into his cloud of happiness for a split second, but didn't let it show. Sohmas endured every trial and tribulation they faced, whether it was a broken heart or otherwise. "I failed," he sang breezily.

Hatori looked at him with awe. "How the hell do you fail an aptitude test?"

"Don't curse!" he admonished, slapping a hand over Hatori's mouth as if he had said a gravely obscene word. "And I don't have your brains, Mr. Psychiatrist."

"Ooh, Mr. Psychiatrist! I think I'm crazy!" Ayame yelled, training both eyes on the bridge of his nose and sticking out his tongue.

"Yeah," Shigure agreed smilingly as Ayame drowned in the pool of his own laughter. "So am I."

"Wait! He has to diagnose us! Say it, Ha'ri! Tell us we're crazy!"

The brown-eyed boy laid down on the cold floor, his hands on his abdomen. Ayame took out a notebook, assuming a dignified, professional stance.

"Tell me about your childhood," he intoned in an imitation of Hatori's voice.

"Well...," he put on a worried frown, "it all started with a fear of clowns and crack whores..."

"You don't need me to. You two are already crazy. You've diagnosed yourselves," Hatori said as both boys collapsed into collective giggles.

* * *

Undecided.

The red marker on Shigure's test shone mockingly up at him.

It wasn't fair. All of his hard work (or not so hard work. He did put some kind of effort into it though), and this was the product.

He was secluded behind the bushes outside of his school. It was difficult escaping Ayame's company, but a fake show of sudden illness permitted him access to the restroom, then the school grounds. Right now, as much as he loved being with his charismatic cousin, he needed solitude.

Shigure shoved a cigarette between his lips and fished in his book bag for a lighter. He always smoked when he was particularly down... Or happy... Or feeling silly. Actually, he smoked for every occasion.

But a smoke wouldn't satisfy another need. As he lit his cigarette and inhaled, then exhaled plumes of slate grey smoke, he felt an uncharacteristic flash of worry tighten around him.

Why? That was his need. An answer to a question he himself didn't know the answer to. Why was he Undecided? Why didn't he do well on this exam when on so many others, he at least scraped by?

There was no valid reason in Shigure's mind for this vague, disappointing outcome. He always did exceedingly well in almost everything he tried. He was tremendously good at sports. He tended to goof off, but he had made it through the grade levels so far, hadn't he? So his studying skills were satisfactory, if not up to par with Hatori's. He was really gifted at being handsome; that required little to no effort. Plus, he had the added advantage of being charming, which got him nearly anything he wanted.

But even with all of those qualities that made Shigure glimmer like a diamond among dark chunks of coal, he could only think of one word to summarize those traits.

Not extraordinary. Not fascinating. Not even alluring.

Inadequate.

Useless.

_Oh, that was two words. Shit, now I can't even count! _he thought despairingly as he inhaled once again.

The lack of a satisfactory answer proved that he couldn't con his way out of this one. His future was a depressingly blank sheet of paper.

Undecided... Undecided... Come to think of it, Shigure was undecided. Hell, he had never considered any options to begin with. Life after high school wasn't consequential to Shigure. Whatever happened, happened. "Que sera, sera" was his response to everything.

This issue was the exception.

He could just throw the exam away, blind himself to the truth, and regard this as another "Que sera, sera". And yet...

He knew it was incredibly stupid of him to balance his emotions on the result of some inconsequential, dumbass test. Like Hatori would even become a psychiatrist. Like Ayame would one day be an actor.

Right?

This, however, wasn't just a paper decked with ink. It was a bad omen-- no, definite proclamation-- of what was to come.

An undecided man with an undecided fate...

Stomping out the still long cigarette, Shigure rose and came out of hiding.

* * *

"Shii-chan, what's wrong? You look upset."

Said person looked up into the speaker's eyes. Funny how serious a shade Kagura's eyes were. But when she was happy, her pretty eyes would transform into a resplendent, exquisite work of art. Not just her eyes, but her entire being radiated a special glow only she could conjure up.

Denying her eyes that glow not only saddened Shigure, it disturbed him. It was as punishable as theft. And only one thing, he sensed, would make her smile.

If he told her what was wrong.

"Nothing," he lied, looking away. He wanted to, but not at the risk of being selfish. Besides, it was stupid. Getting so emotional over a test. Copping a newfound bout of self-pity just because of a stupid piece of paper.

The young girl took his hand, compelling him to look her way. She focused her attention on his visage with determination. "There is. You were quiet today."

"I was thinking."

She smiled, amusement in her eyes. "You can think?"

"Oh, ha ha ha!" he laughed, pulling on her cheeks. Instead of the usual displeasure one might express if in the same position, she let out a delighted squeal which melted into a fit of giggles. Her sunshine-like mood poured light over his rainy day one.

"You jerk!" she cried. Kagura looked around his room in search of ammunition. Finding nothing that captured her fancy, she wadded up a piece of paper and threw it at him. He held up his hands in lieu of a shield, laughing.

The paper crackled on the carpet, then, like a flower, slowly unfolded. The bright red of the paper attracted Kagura, and so she ran towards it.

"Um. Kagu-chan, wait, I--"

Eyes augmented, she turned to her cousin, pigtails lightly pummeling the air. "What's this?"

Shigure strode towards her and picked up his exam. He gave it a prolonged stare. "...My Career Aptitude Test."

"Career Apti- what?"

He grinned while kneeling down and placing a hand on her small head. "Just a fancy phrase for a test in which you're asked questions to figure out what you should be when you grow up."

"That's cool! What're you gonna be?"

"Nothing." He launched the wad of paper into the wastebasket on the other side of the room. He traveled to his bed and reclined on his pillows, arms cradling his head as his gaze made a prolonged respite to the ceiling.

"Nothing?" She gave him a narrowed glare. "So you're just gonna be a freeloader?" Sighing, she said, "You have to be something."

"According to this test, I'm destined for Nothingsville."

She consulted the ceiling for assistance. "Maybe you're so good at so many things, the teacher couldn't settle on one fixed career!"

"The machine couldn't. A teacher wrote down "Undecided" because I didn't get a result. But thanks for trying, kid."

"Actually," she admitted bashfully, eyes falling to the ground, "I haven't decided on what I want to be yet either."

"You? But... You're too young to even be thinking about that!"_ I'm a failure in school, but I sure did succeed in making an impressionable young girl doubt herself. Maybe I could make a career out of it._

"Even so..." She reacquainted her gaze to his, "I don't care! I have time, right? I'm not growing up anytime soon. So I'm gonna be "Undecided" like you! Let's figure out what we want to be together, okay?" She extended a pinkie, eyes starry with hope.

The constellation before him was lovelier than anything the heavens could come up with.

Shigure beamed and linked his pinkie with hers. "Agreed."

* * *

It was odd how when one could relate with another, the problem seemed to lose its sting if not entirely dissipate. Kagura had a whole string of years ahead of her, of heartbreaks and smiles, friends and adventure. Shigure wasn't an old geezer, so he had a full life, but his high school years were dying. Her situation and his were completely different age-wise. As conceited as it might sound, he would be the one most likely to figure out his future first. However, her vow touched him, gave him a garden of solace. Was she worried? No. And he shouldn't worry either.

"SHII-CHAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!" Ayame called, running to him with a paper in his raised hand. When he reached his destination, he placed his hands on his knees and curved his back in order to catch his breath. When his head resurfaced, a smile curled his lips as usual. "There was an error!"

"A-- What? Error? In what?"

"I-- In the Aptitude testy thingies! Turns out there was a glitch in the machine's system, don't ask me what. Ask Ha'ri-san, he probably knows. Anyway, all our results were screwy. And, turns out we weren't supposed to get only one career choice. Ha'ri was the first to notice, he's so smart and amazing!" he gasped affectionately.

Through this excited jumble of words, Shigure picked out the gist.

A glitch. The answers weren't right.

He wasn't "Undecided".

"So... I didn't fail?"

"No! We're gonna retake the exam a week from now!"

The lighthearted jubilance he expected to envelop him didn't. Shigure just stood there, motionless and speechless, for a split second.

"Yeah, well, I knew all along," he lied proudly. "I'm not that stupid."

"And I was getting so used to toying with the idea of becoming an actor," he whined. "Oh well! It's just a test, right?"

"Right. But even if I get a million results, I'm gonna remain Undecided!" He held out a thumb's up sign while winking. "No silly piece of paper dictates my life!"

"No. I do! I own your ass!" The long-haired boy rushed at Shigure.

Hatori stood as far away from the two as possible, sweatdropping. "Those two need a psychiatrist. Hope they get the help they need someday..."

At first, the word "undecided" rang terribly in the recesses of Shigure's mind. But now, with the help of a certain girl, he had to admit one thing.

It had a nice ring to it!

After all, a carefree guy like Shigure couldn't be bogged down with such heavy thinking.

Que sera, sera...


	3. Colored My Heart

Sorry, sorry for not updating swiftly! I'm editing the entire fic from chapter 5 onward and a lot's been going on. Thank you for the reviews as always, I'm touched! I hope that posting this chapter now will make up for my laziness.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.

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**Chapter Three: Colored My Heart**

The space drowning in sunrays was an enchanting place.

If one were averse to the color pink, they would most likely react to the inhabited space with distaste. But others who favored this bubble-gum hue would have to agree to one thing: it was cute. Lacy rose and yellow-striped curtains devoured the metal rods they flowed from, gossamer thin. The fabric framed a large window and lightly kissed the commodious window ledge, where millions of stuffed animals with clumsy stitches running along their appendages rested. The pillow and comforter were the same lemon yellow and sunrise pink shade of the interior.

The use of this room right now wasn't for trivial daydreams, at least for the little one sitting at her desk. No, her room was an office of sorts, a place in which to conduct and complete gargantuan tasks.

Her mission: to make Shii-chan a card.

Her progress: a heinous block of creative freedom, making her goal impossible to achieve

"Argh!" Kagura shrieked. Both of her hands rushed to her head as she glared at the ceiling. "What should I drawww?"

It was her cousin's birthday, and he was turning 17 today! In another he'd be 18, making him legally an adult! He'd be able to drive if he had the attention span to decide to get his license, among other things. Shigure would have the freedom to do as he wished.

...Or not.

A man so vital he could be considered the patriarch of their clan wasn't lenient with his kin. He was a maelstrom of terrible ideas and emotions, choosing to inflict his anguish on others.

The assortment of scattered crayons on her desk turned blurry, as if they were gummibears melting in the hot sun. Kagura shoved her fists into her liquefied eyes, unsuccessfully attempting to prevent her tears from being realized. But her ocular precipitation found ways to slip through the crevices of her tightly closed fingers.

Kagura heard a sound, faint as it was. Perhaps her ears had suddenly inherited, for the time being, Shigure's adroit sense of hearing. Or maybe she had been listening for it, as her family waited for happiness, hoping but the emotion rarely coming. Whatever it was, the sound piqued her curiosity, and the girl jumped from her wooden chair and traversed the carpet to her sliding door.

It was pushed slowly aside, her face peeking into the dark corridor with interest. She finally gained the courage to walk towards the sound's source.

The screen door was transparent, only revealing the silhouette of the occupant. Kagura pulled it aside to venture into Shigure's domain.

Shigure was completely engrossed in his work. He didn't acknowledge the visitor. She smiled at his weak defense. This would be the best time to sneak up on him and get in a few birthday punches while she was at it.

"SHIIIII-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!" As she catapulted herself into ambush mode, he pushed the object in his lap to the floor and caught Kagura.

"Got you, you little imp!" he laughed, holding her in the air with one hand and awkwardly trying to tickle her with another. Kagura levitated above him, all smiles as she began punching him.

"A-hahahahahahahaha--- Kagu-chan, you're hurting me," he said, laughing when she started and complaining when her assault was too rough for his tastes.

"Sorry." She jumped out of his arms and dove for the drawing pad under the bed.

"Ah... Kagu-chan, that's--"

She grinned mischievously up at him. "A dirty picture you were drawing, right? C'mon, you can admit it. I won't tell."

"Kagura..." He used a worried tone.

"Nope. Too late." She eluded his weak efforts of regaining what he didn't want to be seen. The clean white pages rustled beneath her fingers.

"You shouldn't--"

Surprise made her lips form an "O". She looked at Shigure with extreme interest. "What's this?"

She was greeted with a few penciled lines, and clumsy lines at that. Under the procession was the outline of a face, vague pencil circles for eyes, and a mass of long dark hair. It showed some skill, only two levels above primitive. With time and practice, his technique could aspire to an artist's, but for now, it was a work in progress.

The drawing wasn't terrible, so even she could recognize the subject. "That's me!"

Shigure snatched it from her hands, then, sensing the error of his actions, quickly apologized. "Sorry. I... It's just doodling. I was bored." He kept his eyes away from her face. "I know it isn't good. It sucks, I know. I..."

Surprise.

He wasn't acting in his usual bombardment of confidence. Was there something wrong? His apologetic manner reminded her of a tranquil version of... Ritsu!

She giggled. "I like it. It's...lovely! It looks just like me! In fact, I wanna...color it in!" She clapped once with pleasure, happiness outlining her mouth.

"But it isn't fin--"

But the child already was gone. When she returned, she provided herself with a box of crayons.

"Hm, how should I color this? Red! I've always red hair! When I get older, I'll color it red, like... fire!" The slight wrinkles in the paper trembled under the velocity of her feverishly coloring hand. Fire-engine red messily filled in the space indicating her hair. "And green. Green eyes." Kagura chuckled when she colored in the penciled circles. "I look like a witch! Oh, I don't have a mouth." A pink crayoned semi-circle was selected to represent her mouth. "Perfect!"

Within this exchange between her and the air, Shigure slowly approached her and sat down. He seized her hand, which was involved in coloring in her face.

Kagura looked up, contemplating whether to slap him for interrupting.

"I'm feeling left out!" he complained with a slightly protruding lip. "Draw me."

Well, it was his birthday. She'd let this one go. And anyway, it was a relief to see him act in his usual role.

Kagura nodded and set off on her task. A large oval comprised of shoulder length black hair made up his head. A brown crayon filled in large dots for eyes and a pink curved line made his mouth exist.

"Hey, hey! My head isn't that big!"

"Hey, hey! I'm the artist" She threw a crayon at his head. "Don't complain!"

"Okay, okay! Sorry, sorry!"

With an impish grin, Kagura selected a blue crayon. In large messy kanji, she wrote, "Shigure Big Head."

"Hey, hey! Don't be so cruel!" A twinkle ignited in his eyes.

"Pervert Shigure Big Head," existed in yellow under the former.

"Not a pervert. Just extra attentive."

"Especially to high school girls. It's fine now, but when you get older, you'd better be careful." In green: "Stop going for the young ones."

Their laughter echoed in the room.

* * *

Nighttime settled over the Sohma household like a blanket over a baby already in dreamland. Cake time and the festivities came and went. Another year that he was alive passed.

Kagura was glad he was alive. Seeing the change he had undergone when she saw the picture made her appreciate him. If he weren't the same person he was now... It might be harder to love him. But how could he be anyone else? He was Shii-chan! A funny person... A hentai person... An overall good person...

He had to know that.

All throughout the party, she had chastised herself for not having enough courage to ask her mom for money to buy him a decent gift. Her mother saw him as nothing but a trouble-making pervert and wasn't shy about expressing her disapproval of him.

But he was so much more than that!

He had to know that.

She had to let him know that.

"A letter doesn't count as a gift," she said, entering his bedroom. "But it's better than nothing."

_

* * *

_

_Dear Shigure-kun, _

_Happy Birthday! You're another year older, another year wiser... Or not. Wise I mean._

_Kidding! I'm always kidding! But I have to be serious for a minute. I hope you don't mind, and you'd better not mind, because here I go!_

_First of all, your picture of me was good, so shut up. You're really talented. Maybe you should be an artist!_

_Or a writer. Don't act like you don't write hentai stories about the girls you see on a daily basis. _

_Well, I know people see you as a carefree pervert and that only, but I...know you're so much more than that._

_You're kind. Remember when you got me an ice cream cone when I was sick? Mom didn't want me to eat it and told me to throw it out, but I didn't and snuck in bites when she wasn't looking because you got it for me._

_You know what you remind me of? A yellow crayon. My heart was blank, just endless white until you came along and colored it in. You colored my heart in…_

_With your smiles..._

_With your laughter..._

_With your helpful and not so helpful advice..._

_What I'm trying to say is...that I love you. Of course I do! You're so easy to love!_

_Don't ever change (like you were planning to..)! I love you just the way you are. You wouldn't be you if you changed! Like if you acted like Ha'ri! That's a scary thought..._

_Just kidding._

_But don't tell him I said that..._

_Again, happy birthday. I love you. Thank you so much for supporting me and for being..._

_Shii-chan!_

_Love,_

_Kagu-chan_


	4. The Way She Is

Thank you again! I really, really am glad to have gotten reviews and to have gained new readers! Hi, new readers! (waves) Welcome to the Insanity Express! Well, not really, but still. I hurt my finger while playing basketball and it kinda hurts to type, but I came to the library (damn you, dial-up!) and posted this just for you guys! I'm waiting for the sympathy reviews to just pour in... Okay, my finger is okay. It only hurts a little. But that's entirely beside the point!

Disclaimer: I don't (ow) own (ah, my finger!) Furuba (sympathy reviews... you will give me sympathy reviews...)

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**Chapter Four: The Way She Is**

"So anyway, I think it's imperative that you try harder," the young blond teacher concluded. She tapped a large stack of papers on her desk and placed them in a far-off corner. "You're an intelligent young man, Shigure-kun. I know you can do better." Her manicured nail indicated the 65 stamped atop Shigure's exam.

He looked at Hatori for support, then, sensing he wouldn't be a reliable source for back up, swiveled around to face his instructor.

"Karuma-sensei," he began in his enrapturing, melodious voice as he seized both of her slender hands. "I'm about to graduate, don't you know?"

"Why, yes. I'll... I'll miss you, all of you, dearly," she said, rather startled by the sudden physical contact. "Especially you and Hatori." She nodded to the male standing in the corner by the open door. "And our Ayame-kun." She beamed sweetly. "Unique as he is, and...Distracting." Her voice betrayed the tiny crush she had on him. Removing the blush from her cheeks, she continued," Tell him I hope he feels better. But what does this have to do with--?"

"Dearest, it has the world to do with my exam! It's extremely vital that you change my grade!" Shigure said smoothly, using his left hand to scoop up his chin. He grinned, slightly parting his lips to allow his bright teeth exposure to the young instructor. "You like us, don't you? You like **me**, don't you?" They were suddenly in proximity with one another since he leaned over her desk, practically in her personal space.

"Don't be so easily swayed, Karuma-sensei," Hatori advised. "He needs to earn his grades, like everyone else. Life isn't as easy as he thinks, and to indulge him would be unwise."

"Hatori's such a kidder!" he said, gazing at his teacher. "A regular comedian. This isn't about sliding along in life. I have a dream." He adopted an inspirational pose, eyes directed with a hopeful gleam at the ceiling, elbows bent and fists level with his chin. "I have no idea what I'll be once I get out of high school, but I have to get to college! For my cousins! For my parents! But, most of all, for myself!"

Karuma's eyes sparkled with tears. "Inspirational. You have such a way with words, Shigure-kun!"

"Karuma-sensei," Hatori warned.

"Karuma-sensei," Shigure sang, large eyes dotted with sparkles.

"He-- Karuma-sensei, he always does this. It's his dirty method of persuasion."

The boy rushed to Hatori, eyes still in convincing mode. "Please be silent, Hatori-saaann."

"Uhh.." Even Hatori couldn't resist the sparkling eyes. It was a step above the trademark puppy-dog eyes Shigure employed as his method of persuasion, and much more effective.

"What do you say?" he asked the woman behind the desk. "Pleeeeaaaaassssee?"

"Well-- I--" Karuma started, but trembled under his super shiny penetrating gaze. Even her sky blue eyes gained his sparkles, giving her a dazed look.

"Karuma-sensei."

"I can't just hand out grades…" Her voice deflated like a week-old party balloon.

"You can. For me."

"Well-- I-- Okay. But promise me you'll study harder next time," she said as a form of compromise between him and her conscious.

"Yes, dear lady. I shall. Thank you!" Shigure floated out of the classroom and down the empty hallway. "Have a nice night, Karuma-sensei!"

"You're..."

"Cunning? A stunningly sexy mastermind?" Shigure guessed with his hand under his chin.

"...Despicable."

He slapped the sides of his face in faux astonishment. "Me? Despicable? Not me! Surely not!" His arms flew to the back of his head. "I miss Aya-kuuun! He'd back me up. Quick! We must go to our fallen comrade!" he ordered, a fist raised.

"Did you forget?" Hatori asked dully. "We have to pick up Kyou and Kagura from school."

He stopped and looked at the sanguine and tangerine sky. A golden sphere drowned in this carpet of beauty.

"It's getting late," he admitted, an edge of worry lacing his words. "Let's go."

"I've been saying that for the past hour. Until you decided to con our teacher."

"The past is the past, Hatori. Don't dwell on it. Onwards, men!" Shigure pointed to the exit and shortly followed his finger to the outside world.

* * *

The elementary school was deserted. The swings creaked eerily in the wind as if moaning for human companions. Each piece of equipment in the playground squeaked and groaned with its own pitiful song.

"Let's hold hands and skip!" the bolder of the two ordered.

"I don't think so."

"I think so. La la la la la la laaaa!" A frolicking Shigure dragged along Hatori into the building. His repetitive song echoed in the dormant corridors.

His frivolity somersaulted into curiosity as he briefly searched the halls. "Those wacky lovebirds aren't here. Hm."

"Are you here for Sohma Kyou and Kagura?" a voice asked.

"Huh? Oh, yes," Shigure informed the invisible speaker.

The invisible vocalist made herself visible by stepping into their paths. Her eyes were the size of records at the sight of them.

"Sohma Kagura and Kyou's...parents, I presume? Just Kagura's? Or, um-- Kyou's?" A blink. "I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting this. None of them mentioned having two daddies. Of course, every family is unique and it was naive of me to think that they have a conventional family. I apologize."

"Ummm..." Hatori reddened as Shigure devilishly grinned.

"Why, of course this is my lov--"

"We're their cousins," Hatori interjected with a glare aimed at the grinning boy. He threw Shigure's hand out of his possession. "We came to pick them up."

"Ah. Yes! Yes, certainly." She stepped aside. "Please, come in. They're presently inside my office."

One sweeping glance at the office and Shigure noticed that the interior matched her to a tee. The cardinal color was a deep burgundy; everything from the walls to the leather couch was drenched in the sophisticated and thoroughly no-nonsense shade.

Their cousins were on the floor among a bunch of toys. Kyou omitted himself from pile and took to stoically glaring at the oak desk. Kagura merrily constructed a large tower, periodically pausing in her stacking to squeal, "Kyou-kuuun!" and hug him or kiss his cheek.

"Sweet kids," Suzuki Reiko commented.

Shigure beamed as he approached them. "Yeah. We love our cousins sooo much!" The girl was more receptive to the loving show, laughing as he kissed her forehead. Kyou nearly bit his hand off when he tried to pass on a bit of affection toward him.

"Where the fuck were you?"

"Kyou!" Suzuki admonished.

"I'm just saying," he glared at the black-haired high schooler, "that they're late."

"We're sorry. Blame Shigure," Hatori intoned.

"Hey! None of you had to stay with Miss. Sunshine over here!" he growled, pointing at Kagura. "She nearly-- Oomph!"

"Jerk! Super royal jerk! I hate you! I love you! How DARE you!" she yelled passionately, kicking and punching her beloved. "And after all I've done for you!" She grabbed his ankle roughly and swung him above her head a few times before hurling him out of the window. "Hey, come back here!"

After she leapt out of the broken window after him, Hatori sighed. "We'll pay for a replacement," he promised wearily, jerking a thumb at the window.

"Never mind. It's small compared to all the other broken stuff."

"Other broken stuff?"

"Well, Kagura threw Kyou into a desk while making one of her many visits to his classroom, shattered a swing's chain, broke a couple of chairs with her fists when not allowed to see him," Suzuki catalogued from behind her desk. As she sat down, she wordlessly invited the boys to follow suit.

Hatori and Shigure complied.

She let her fingers mesh with each other in front of her nose, elbows on her desk. "For well over 25 years," she began, eyes trained on her fingers, "I've been a psychiatrist."

"Psychiatrist, huh. Just like you, Ha'ri," Shigure joked.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing. You were saying?"

"Ah. Yes." Her smoky charcoal and grey eyes regarded the duo solemnly. "I became a principal because I felt I was qualified for the job as well as compatible with it. You see, I specialized in Child Psychology. I can reason with children, understand them.

"Kagura's behavior towards Kyou is very...**disturbing**," she summarized, stressing the last word.

"Excuse me?" Hatori asked.

"I've never encountered such a sweet girl. When away from Kyou, she's very mild, angelic even. But placed in the same environment as him, and she becomes fierce, a loose cannon, violent. I'm afraid I'm forced to inquire what her home life is like so her behavior can be swiftly modified."

No words transpired from either party for an eternity it seemed. Shigure broke the continuous stream of silence.

"Just what the hell are you saying?"

Suzuki leaned forward. "Just that she's acting in a contradictory manner. She says she loves him, yet... To be blunt, beats the crap out of him. I just want this to be taken care of so she won't get into any trouble, like a suspension."

"Suspension!"

"If you don't want it to escalate that far, we could always hold an intervention between the children and us or have them see... Well, me. I was about to say shrink." Reiko released a half-hearted laugh, then let it perish when sensing the venom of the Sohma boys.

"Are you implying that Kagura-chan has a problem?" Hatori inquired with only a speck of a threat.

Shigure, less disciplined at controlling his emotions, soared over a slightly threatening tone. "She's always been this way, since she could walk and talk!" Anger was an uncommon expression for him to express. Even Hatori had to back away. "Kagu-chan's a good girl! She's a good kid!"

"I agree. I know how--"

"No. You don't. You wouldn't unless you...completely understood." His mind retrogressed through a graveyard of painful memories. "Our family..."

"Shigure," Hatori cautioned. He placed a hand on his arm.

"You might as well say... That Kyou-kun is... That he's damaged, too. Well," His brown eyes flashed with rage. "Say it! Call him disturbed too! Do it. If Kagura-chan's disturbed, isn't he as well? Well? Speak, Miss. Psychiatrist!"

"Shigure! Calm down!" Hatori ordered, rising from his chair and holding both arms. "She," he spat with an uncharacteristic amount of venom, "isn't worth it."

"I see you two are too personally attached to the young ones to give an objective response. I'm not saying this to be cruel. I truly want to help them!" Suzuki barked.

"O--Of course we're personally attached! What the hell, they're our...cousins. We love them." A pause. "If she needs help," Shigure smirked corrosively, "then she won't be "cured" by your hands."

Kagura's squeals of delight and Kyou's shrieks of pain rushed through the broken glass window. Their vocal output however was subdued, as if they were a considerable distance from the school.

"This is just the way she is. Accept it. I can't tell her to change who she is and the person who does is...a fool. Let's go, Hatori." Shigure swiveled around and stalked out of the office, Hatori slithering after him.

"Kagu-chan! Kyou-kun! We're leaving," Shigure called.

They were actually across the street, which explained their muted voices. Kagura waved at her cousins, an arm slung around a battered Kyou's shoulders.

"That bitch. That crazy, insensitive bitch," he muttered.

"I never thought I'd say this, but...I agree," Hatori vocalized in a steely tone.

"What did Suzuki-sama want?" the conscious one out of the pair asked.

He dived into his happy-go-lucky persona with a huge grin. "Nothing. Everything's okay now. Let's get ice cream! Ha'ri's paying!"

"Yayy! Ice cream! Kyou-kun, ice cream," she cheered as she shook him out of unconsciousness.

"No... Ice cream makes me dizzyyyy..."

_I've decided something_, Shigure thought as Kagura dragged Kyou ahead. _There's nothing wrong with our Kagu-chan. Nothing at all. I hope she stays..._

She waited for her cousins to catch up and placed a diminutive hand in both of theirs. "Thank you, Shii-kun, Ha'ri-kun, for being there. I love you!" she beamed.

Hatori was unable to resist the smile tugging at the edges of his lips. Shigure was less adamant in preventing the use of his facial muscles.

"...this way," he murmured. "Don't change, Kagura-chan. For one day, Kyou-chan will see you as I do: wonderful."

_Someday, that day will come._


	5. Orange

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.

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**Chapter Five: Orange**

His orange hair.

It was the always the first thing she noticed about him. His hair was so vivid a shade, she could see it from a distance.

She idolized him as much as she idolized his hair. Well maybe not idolized. But she loved his hair. She loved its effervescent hue. She loved everything about it, just as she loved everything about him.

"Kyou-kun, I love you! I love you and your pretty hair! Love, love, love! Let me run my fingers through it!"

A panting boy rushed ahead of her, face twisted in a scowl. Despite this show of annoyance and anger, he was deathly terrified. What would happen if she caught up with him wasn't left to the imagination. He went through the same painful routine daily.

But Kagura was determined. He was the winner in this race of love, but not for long. Once she caught up to him, they'd cross the blissful lovers' finish line together! The motions of her legs increased, her screams intensified with each second. At the moment, she was singing a song of her own invention.

"Love you, Kitty-chan! Have to be with Kitty-chan! Kyou-chan, Kitty-chan! I love you, so STOP RUNNING!" The last words were shouted in a violent tone of voice as a gleam entered her eyes. The devil personified, at least to him. To Kagura, she was an angel, ready to bless her cherub with her love.

She leapt in the air and tackled him.

"My... Skull..." He kissed the dirt, limbs weakening like deflated balloons. The chattering girl didn't notice as she brought a chunk of his hair to bury her face in.

"Ahhh! So pretty. I love your hair, Kyou-kun!"

"Ow! You're pulling my hair by the roots! My hair isn't detachable. Get OFF OF MEEE!" He scurried out of her possession, but at a price.

RIPPPP!

Kagura had still been clinging with an iron grip to the substance sprouting from his scalp. She held her hands to her mouth as she viewed the newly made bald patch on the back of his head.

He turned with angry fire engulfing his eyes. "You... WHAT DID YOU DO?"

Her liquefied eyes glanced at the chunk of hair in her hands. It glowed like all-consuming fire.

"I'm so sorry, Kyou! I'll glue it back and it'll be good as new!"

"No! It won't! Now I have to shave my head or--"

"Don't shave your heaaadd!" she sobbed.

"And I'm supposed to walk around like this, Kagura? Arrggghhh! I hate you!"

"Don't say that!" she whimpered. "I love you. I'm sorry!"

"Sorry doesn't help. You're nothing but a meddlesome burden! I hate you, I hate you, I HATE YOU!"

_I hate you..._

Rage lit up her facial features. "How could you say that to me!" she howled before setting off on her task of punishing him.

* * *

Orange.

She looked at the strands of hair in her tightly clenched fingers.

"Kyou's color..."

It now was hers. She hadn't meant to rip the hair follicles from poor Kyou's scalp. She wanted to use scissors to clip a bit of his hair. Kagura even had a tiny satchel of her hair to give to him. She had seen a movie where the main characters gave each other a section of their hair to remember them by. She thought it was the most romantic thing she had ever seen.

She pressed her treasure to her heart. When her nose levitated over the strands, a gritty scent met her nose.

"Ah!" Teary eyes and an averted face met the entrance of the smell through her nostrils. "It smells... like sweat. And dirt." An adoring stare was given to the substance in her hands.

She placed his hair next to hers in the silk bag.

* * *

Kyou's hair was always with her. She carried it around like a good luck charm, periodically taking it out to squeeze affectionately to her cheek.

Kagura's favorite color used to be yellow. Bright yellow. Sunshine yellow. It was a color of hope. Hoping for the sunshine that rarely came to the Sohmas. It had endured in her heart. But like for most of the members of her family, it faded with time. Years passed and optimism for a better life died. But now, orange was her new color of hope. She now hoped to be his wife one day. To have his children. To receive his love one day instead of being the only one showing her adoration. When she walked down the aisle one day, she wanted to be in a kimono that matched his hair color. He'd gently smile and she'd smile back, both of them knowing orange's symbolism.

The clouds were dreary, a depressing slate gray. Kagura carried a wax cylinder to her destination, the local shrine.

With the solemn air of a priestess, she placed the tangerine-hued candle on the wooden altar and lit the wick. Two claps, then a bow made at the waist.

"Bless Kyou-kun today, Kami-sama. He hasn't had the best life. Rainy days are particularly hard for him. Please protect him, as you have all this time."

A smile curved her lips as she straightened her spine. When she was younger, she began the practice of lighting an orange candle for him on rainy days. One time, she nearly burned down the house! It took a level-headed Hatori to extinguish the flames. That's when Hatori advised that he supervise her ritual, and that he actually light the candle for her. But now she was more responsible with a lighter, and her medic relative no longer had to hide the matches and lighters from her.

_Now, I can light a candle,_ she thought smilingly as she watched the tiny flame dance on the wick. _I'm an adult now. I can take care of myself, and Kyou-kun too. I'm going to take care of him._

Kagura stayed with the candle until the wind demolished the flame. A raindrop sizzled into the shoulder of Kagura's shirt.

Soon, a cloudburst occurred. The drenched woman bowed again and left the shrine. At that moment, a childhood memory floated to her mind...

_

* * *

_

_"Ha'ri, Ha'ri!" A sobbing Kagura rushed to him._

_"What's wrong? Did you scrape something?" he asked. A casual observer would surmise that the aspiring medic wasn't worried at the matter at hand because of his unchanging stoic expression. But concern coiled itself around his words like a playful snake._

_"Ayame, get off me."_

_Ayame's head peeked around his shoulder, arms choking his waist._

_"You smell so goood though! Oh, Kagura-chan. What's wrong, sweetie?" His widened eyes showed interest as well as a desire to help her._

_The crying girl looked up, lower lip quivering. "The kids at school m--m--made fun of me."_

_"What? Made fun of you? What did they say?"_

_She produced a large box full of orange crayons. Some were snapped in half as if bitten by a hungry animal._

_"I--I colored a picture in school, for science. We were learning about the habitat of the tiger. I colored everything orange and... The teacher scolded me!"_

_"Insensitive witch," Ayame said. "But what does this have to do with your classmates?"_

_"A girl told me that I was coloring everything wrong."_

_"So what did you tell her?" _

_"T--That orange was my favorite color. She asked me why and I said, 'Because I love Kyou-kun, everything about him. One of those things is his hair.' And she laughed! Everyone did! She said boys were icky. She tore my picture in half and stomped on my crayons!"_

_"Kagu-chan, don't cry!" Ayame gathered the small girl into his arms. "Just tell me you made us proud."_

_"W--Well..." Her voice contained wavering notes of shame._

_"Yes?" Hatori probed._

_"I punched her."_

_Ayame's laughter cut into the silence. "Good job, Kagu-chan! She'd better think twice before challenging the Sohma temper!"_

_"You shouldn't encourage her," Hatori scolded._

_"Okay, I won't."_

_"I got a suspension. I don't wanna tell mom, but I have to get a slip signed... Will you tell her with me, Ha'ri? Please?"_

_He took her little hand. "Okay._

* * *

The days of relying on her family faded. She found herself keeping painful thoughts and events to herself more frequently. Enduring meant solving her own dilemmas, at least for Kagura. If she wasn't a strong person, she wouldn't be able to support her beloved. And she had to be strong, at all costs.

Every time she thought about it, she grew somber. Amid this violent show of affection for him, her family was relegated to the scenery of her life.

Especially Shigure. She used to entrust him with her problems. But as they grew older, their bond weakened. She used to know almost everything that went on in his life and he knew what was up with her, but now, they were almost like strangers.

It started with Kagura's intensified campaign to win Kyou's heart. Then Shigure left for college. He immediately went into the literary field and Kagura entered college after a few years. Due to the activities in their lives, they had a loose hold on one another.

Kagura contemplated it often. _I should spend more time with him_, she'd think. _I should spend more time with them. _But everything was promised in terms of, "When I get Kyou to love me..."

"When I get Kyou to love me, I'll spend more time with Ayame. We could go shopping!"

"When I get Kyou to love me, I'll hang out with Momiji more. Poor kid, he needs a shoulder to cry on. Even if his mother doesn't love him, I do, and I need to tell him that."

"When I get Kyou to love me, I swear I'll spend more time with Haru. We need to plan the double wedding: mine and Kyou's and his and Yuki's! We've been planning it for so long..."

"When I get Kyou to love me... I'll talk to Shigure. We'll talk, and really talk this time. Really... I will."

She didn't have his love, but Kagura did spend time with them. But of all the Sohmas, she spent time with Shigure the least. She truly did miss his jokes and advice and just him in general.

"But I'll do it today." Kagura stood and looked at the crystal clear sky. "I'm going to visit Shigure today! I even baked a cake," she added, looking at the charred hunk of flour and sugar next to her. "It's been way too long. I miss him."

A flash of tangerine tugged at the corner of her eye. All thoughts of her respite to the residence fled from her mind as she raced to him.

His eyes widened in surprise. _He must be happy to see me too_, she thought, oblivious to his apprehension. Joy inflated her heart as she body-slammed him.

Despite her good intentions, she was once again seduced by the color orange.


	6. Searching

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.

* * *

Searching. Life was all about searching. 

Searching for happiness. Searching for love. Searching for success. But these things could be elusive for many, which resulted in more searching for the unattainable. Yes, the things that were veiled, the things hardest to obtain, were usually the most desired. And that was the tragedy, that life was a giant search, a treasure hunt that became increasingly difficult with time.

Shigure wasn't suffering from this. At least not now.

"I'm so happy!" he cheered as he gazed at a copy of the literary genius residing in his hands. Words couldn't encompass what he was feeling. Every time he held or looked at his latest book, he experienced the same emotions he had felt the first time he held a copy of his first novel. In many ways, his books were like infants. He loved them as much as if they were innocuous newborns. The birthing process was always difficult, for his editor Mii anyway, but it was worth it.

"You've been standing there, saying that for the past half-hour," Hatori muttered. "We should get going. It's getting late."

Shigure swiveled around to face his cousin, lips involved in a mock-frown. "You wouldn't understand! This is an epoch in my life," he explained with emotion trembling in his voice. Eyes focused on the ceiling and fists raised to his chin, elbows bent, he continued, "Everything has come full circle. Years before, I stood in this same spot, reveling in the publishing of my first novel," he crooned in a self-satisfied tone. "Do you see it now, Hatori? Yes, I shall have... Children named after me! Flocks of fans wanting my autograph! A star-studded life!"

"There are already many children named Shigure," Hatori pointed out. "And don't become disillusioned. Your book is being considered--"

"Waves of Ocean-hued Desire," Shigure said.

Glaring at him, he said, "--That book is being considered for film adaptation."

He continued as if he hadn't heard the negativity in his tone. "Two weeks later, and it's getting rave reviews. The publishing company's CEO proposed that he'd arrange a meeting with some studio or something and discuss the movie thing. That doesn't just happen, especially after such a short period of time. I'm even gonna write the script! Aren't you proud of me?" he grinned.

"Not particularly. You're thinking ahead of what's going on in the present, as usual. Your level of fame isn't going to skyrocket, even if... that book becomes a movie, which I highly doubt. And it's not like you'll be an actor or anything."

"You're such a wet blanket!" Ayame complained as he wrapped his arms around Hatori's waist. His silver hair was pulled back in a silk blue ribbon and he was outfitted in a kimono of his creation decorated with small black canines. "You could congratulate him, you know!"

Hatori clapped twice. "I applaud you for your perverseness," he said sarcastically.

"Oh, c'mon! I'm not always perverted and I'm really talented when it comes to clever wordplay. Doesn't that count for something?" the insulted novelist whined with flailed arms.

"Let's celebrate, Shii-chan! It'll be fun! We'll go drinking and do karaoke. And I'll make up for Hatori's lack of enthusiasm... In my own way, hm?" Ayame proposed suggestively.

As they gave each other a thumb's up sign, Hatori did his trademark "shake his head in shame" thing.

"We really should leave. You two are making a scene." Taking their hands, Hatori dragged them to the sedate black car waiting outside.

* * *

"Everyone! I want your attention!" Ayame yelled into a megaphone. 

The people jammed in his clothing shop held their ears.

"Your voice is loud enough without the megaphone," Yuki mentioned. He turned to Tohru and inquired about the state of her eardrums.

"Whatever you say, little brother Yuki-channn!" Ayame dropped the voice-projector and flourished his hands in a dramatic fashion. "Today is a special day for our Shii-chan. His fabulous book, which has received rave reviews by the way, will be made into a film! We're gonna watch it together," he squealed as he inclined his head toward the smiling Shigure standing beside him.

"It'll be sold out at every movie theater, naturally," Shigure boasted. "But I'm going to get three tickets courtesy of the publishing company! Get on my good side, and I might give one of you lucky people a ticket. I'm sure Ha'ri is looking forward to its release."

"Good luck, Shigure-kun, and congrats!" Ayame shouted. With a handful of confetti thrown in the air, Mine wheeled in a giant chocolate cake that was almost as tall as she was. "Let the party commence!"

Tons of food passed through the lips of the Sohmas and chatter emitted from the crowd. Shigure beamed as he oversaw the activity and accompanied Ayame in being silly. His mood had passed through the clouds into heaven tonight. Nothing could dampen his excitement!

"Shigure!" A female cried as she rushed to him. "Have you seen Kyou?"

"Oh, I see." Cowering in a corner, he sobbed, "You only want to see Kyou-kun. What about me? You didn't even congratulate me!"

"I did, don't you remember?" Kagura said. "I did as soon as you got here, and I gave you a big hug!"

"Where's my kiss though?" he asked through puckered lips.

"Okay," she assented quickly as if eager to get away from him. On the tips of her toes, she gave him a peck on his lowered cheek.

"Lovely, now here," he said, a wicked gleam in his eye as he pointed to his mouth.

A fist slammed into the side of his head told him that the issue wasn't to be considered. "Perv! No way!" She closed her eyes as a finger as soft as silk touched her lips. "Only for Kyou-kun!" An orange blur caught her eye. "Kyou!" With a yell, she was after him at lightning speed.

"Everything's for him," he commented somberly.

"Huh? Something wrong, Shigure?" Ayame asked.

He shook his head with a smile. "Nothing."

* * *

It was around midnight or eleven o'clock. He exited the store, citing lethargy as his reason for his early farewell. Only after promising Ayame they'd go drinking tomorrow night was he granted the ability to leave (Ayame had him in a chokehold Shigure suspected he had learned from his feisty cousin Kagura). 

"That was a wonderful party. Congratulations, Shigure-san," Tohru beamed.

"Whatever. It was too noisy."

"But you should like noise," Yuki said contemptuously. "You're noisy yourself."

"Why don't you just SHUT UP? No one asked for your little side comments!" Kyou shrieked.

Shigure tuned the arguing boys out, a skill he had acquired and honed to perfection over the space of time they had lived with him. And anyway, the matter on hismind needed complete attention. There was something clinging to the edges of his mind, chewing relentlessly…

"I'm going to take a walk," Shigure said without thought.

"A—A walk? But it's so late… Ah!" Tohru struck the side of her head with her hand. "I'm sorry! I'm not your mom and you don't need to answer to me-- But-- Are you going to be okay?" she stammered.

He smiled benevolently. "Yes. Of course! I just need to think a bit."

"When do you ever think?"

Ignoring Kyou, he continued, "So, Yuki-kun, Kyou-kun, escort Tohru-chan home. I'll be out for awhile." Smiling suggestively, "But a lot can happen in awhile, huh." He walked away from the trio. "Take turns, you two. Don't hog her for too long. Share!"

"Share?" Tohru gave the two a quizzical look. "What does he mean?"

"He's just being SICK, as usual!" the tangerine-haired teen said.

He left to mutterings from both Yuki and Kyou about Shigure's perverseness. They went in the direction of home and he went in the opposite route. The wind chased him, chilling him along with the realization that something in his life was missing.

Kagu-chan. His Kagu-chan.

He had been side-stepping it for years. When they were younger, they were at least involved in each other's lives. But so much had occurred in such a short time. Kagura had always been in love with Kyou to the point of obsession, but she at one time had always had time for Shigure. What happened to the juggling act between expressing her love for Kyou and being with him?

But Shigure shouldn't complain. He knew that. He was lucky they even spoke at all. And they did see each other. Just in passing, and usually, she was so intoxicated on her favorite person that she barely threw any type of greeting at him.

Even his shoji was getting more action than he was.

Non-perverse action, of course.

_Well Ayame and Yuki aren't close, and he tries to mend their broken relationship, right? I should do the same._

Unintelligible shrieks punctuated with curses filled the crisp nighttime air.

"My papperrrr! Monday's a day away and I don't have it!"

"Kagura-chan?" He turned the corner to see a woman on the verge of exploding. Her eyebrows were angry slashes over her eyes, her irises abundant in anxiety. Kagura frowned as she regarded the vocalist.

"Have you seen it?" she demanded loudly.

"Ah!" he gave a small cry of surprise as the proximity between them lessened considerably.

"My floppy disk! I ran around and... I think I may've dropped it!" A firm grip with the front of his yukata. "You have to help me find it! I'll get a bad grade if I don't turn my thesis in!"

"But you're the one who lost--"

A glare meant to be chilling made Shigure feel as if he were in flames. Sweatdropping, he assented by taking her hand. "We'll see if it's in the store."

* * *

"Do you see it anywhere, Kagu-chan?" 

"No, no, NO! I DON'T! What kind of question is that?"

"Irritable, irritable... I'll have to remember to buy you some fish."

Both were stationed at other sides of the room. Shigure handled the space near the entrance while Kagura tackled the back. Seriously tackled. Everything in her path was subjected to a crude shove. Ayame's racks of the many clothes he had made lovingly were tipped over. She waddled in the debris no one had bothered cleaning up.

"Where's Ayame and Mine-san? They could help..."

"I think he escorted her home or something," he surmised.

Kagura sighed as she straightened her spine. "I didn't find my floppy. What about you?"

Silence.

"Shigure? Did you hear me? I said, what about you? Have any luck?" She took a few steps in his direction, eyes inquisitive at his silence. "Should I help look over there with you?"

A few erratic movements of him seeming to straighten out his yukata, then his smiling countenance resurfaced. "Nope. We should try somewhere else."

* * *

The next hour went on in this fashion. Kagura was getting increasingly irritable and took it out on poor Shigure. He asked her if she was menstruating. She told him to shut up and concentrate on the matter at hand while beating him senseless. He told her that if she continued to beat him senseless, he'd have no wits about him to be of any use to her. Grudgingly, she quit assaulting him, muttering of the few wits he had already. 

"We've searched for too long," he pointed out gently. She steered her toward a bar. "Let's drink."

* * *

"Ah!" Kagura slammed her glass of sake on the wooden table in satisfaction. "It's been so long since I've had a good drink. I needed that." 

"Oh no. My Kagu-chan's a recovering alcoholic! I should've never brought you here!"

"Shii-chan?"

"Hm?"

"Shut up." But a smile made her lips putty in its hands.

Shigure lifted his glass and took three consecutive gulps. But instead of feeling comforted, he became apprehensive with each swallow.

_I shouldn't have done this_, Shigure lamented. _I really shouldn't have. Oh my. Is this that emotion called... guilt? Hm, interesting. But I really shouldn't have. Too bad I can't delete my decision._ Looking at the woman getting more tipsy, he sighed.

_It's easier to type a novel, or a thesis in Kagu-chan's case, than to revoke past decisions. You can save the things you've typed, lest you forget the words. You can delete any mistakes. You can create a new file altogether or delete one. You can undo any major crisis unfolding on your computer screen. Yes, typing is easier than living..._

"You alone?" an intoxicated person inquired. Shigure faced a completely smashed man who couldn't have been older than 24 or 25. He tapped Kagura's shoulder, then let his hand fall at his side. He staggered from side to side. The pungent odor of cheap cologne struck his ultra-sensitive nose.

"Excuse me?" Kagura looked at him dazedly.

"She's with me," Shigure said in a voice meant to sound intimidating. He was, as Kyou would've so articulately put it, pissed off. This stranger wasn't about to hit on his cousin in front of him.

But the drunkard was persistent. He took her arm and made a motion of dragging her along, saying something in a slurred voice that may've been, "Come with me."

"Honestly, the youth of today have no class." He laughed breezily to keep up the unperturbed atmosphere he kept around him. Shigure grabbed Kagura's arm, still bewildered, towards his person. "She's mine. Let go."

Mumbling, he shuffled away. Shigure sighed in relief. He wasn't as martial arts-savvy as his two cousins. If the stranger had challenged him to a fight, he would've been useless in defending himself. He looked at Kagura, who had a smile spread over her face. So much for the heroic act. She hadn't even thanked him. He doubted she had even comprehended what happened. It might've made her forgive him more readily.

But right now, he had to stop thinking about saving his own ass and getting Kagura out of the bar. If someone else approached her, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from punching him in the face. He slung an arm around her shoulders and lifted her into his arms like an infant. Placing some money on the table, he exited the tavern.

* * *

"Kagura..." 

"Yeah?" A note of insobriety flowed into the solitary syllable. But it was very faint. The fresh air had done her some good. Kagura's eyes had lost their previous confusion. But she was still drunk. Maybe her loose hold on her inhibitions would make her not punish him too severely! Or maybe she'd just forget the episode. It was a possibility...

He fidgeted on the freezing park bench with his arm around her waist. The novelist placed his hand inside his yukata. A dark green plastic object was placed in her lap.

"I found your floppy. I just didn't tell you."

A blink. Another blink. Shigure sure felt lucky. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

He couldn't see her eyes, as her gaze had fallen to her legs. But once her head snapped up, it was easy to see that his luck, from the beginning, was rotten.

"You BASTARD! Super bastard jerk! I can't believe you'd stoop this low!" she howled as she assaulted her kin.

"Ow! Ow! Kagura, you have every right to be angry, but you're pounding me too hard--"

"Who's giving ME the right? You?" Her fists collided with his head, legs attacking his stomach. "Why would you do that to me? When did you find it? At Aya's store? Was that it? Hey!" She shook him rapidly, Shigure lounging in unconsciousness. "YOU CAN'T JUST PASS OUT CONVENIENTLY WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE IT!"

As quickly as Shigure had entered unconscious bliss, he awakened to hell. She threw him on the wooden bench in disgust.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not just saying that because-- Ow, my arm!" He winced. "I really am sorry."

"It was important to me." She stared at him. Shigure couldn't take the hurt in her eyes. "My grades have been crappy as it is. That thesis is supposed to raise my grade. I worked... so hard on it. I stayed up late writing it and was up all night sometimes. I agonized over which words to use. I... poured my heart into making it perfect. I broke my fingers typing that thing! And you..."

"Don't say anymore," a teary Shigure pleaded. "That was so sad!"

"I should be the one crying, not you! Show some backbone!" she fumed. "Jeez..."

"...I wasn't trying to inconvenience you, Kagu-chan."

"Then what were you doing? Playing some dumb joke on me?"

"Trying to spend time with you."

Neither spoke for several minutes. She sliced into the ribbon of silence tied around them.

"Spend time with me?"

"Well, yeah. It's always about Kyou-kun, Kyou-kun, Kyou-kun!" he complained. "You're so busy chasing him and telling him you love him that you barely hang out with me anymore. So when you lost your floppy disk, I found it as an opportunity." In a faster tone of voice, he proceeded, "I mean, it's all about me wanting to be with you, Kagu-chan, you understand, right? And when I found it-- it was under a potato chip bag, by the way--I thought, _Well, that was too soon. I'll prolong this, because it's so nice that I'm with Kagura._ Even though you were so irritable." He waited for the slap, punch, kick, or body slam he felt was coming his way.

Nothing.

Shigure looked at her, arms thrown atop his head, face averted. He was greeted with a solemn expression that reminded Shigure of Hatori. But there was a touch of sorrow here and there that made the look vary from his stoicism. Guilt made his heart sag. Why'd he have to do that to her?

Kagura threw herself into his arms. A surprised Shigure held her loosely.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I... I never realized... Well, I should've, but I... That's all I can say, is that I'm sorry."

"I should've just said something instead of making you angry. I'm at fault here."

"No, I am."

"No, I am."

"We're gonna fight over who gets the blame now?" she joked.

The two laughed. She detached herself from his chest. "Let's figure out a way... to balance this. For us to spend more time together. Actually, I'm glad you took the initiative." With a laugh, "Even though you could've just said something instead of making me sprout gray hairs. But I'm at fault as well."

"Kagu-chan?"

"Hm?"

"Can we decide on this later? My head hurts!" he wailed. "It hurts to think."

"It always hurts for you to think, doesn't it, Shii-chan." She slung his arm over her neck and got up. "You have to help me out too! You're heavy!"

And they talked. Kagura told him about what was happening in school. Shigure bragged about the success of his newest novel ("It's been two weeks and it's already a best-seller! I don't' care what Ha'ri says, it's going to be made into a movie!"). In that space of time, he figured out the extent of how much he had missed her.

They made an agreement to try and hang out. Not everyday. That'd get exhausting and they'd get tired of each other easily. Even the closets of relatives and friends could tire of each other if they spent their lives as if they were adhered at the arm. Kagura had her own life. Shigure had his. They knew and respected that. But for, say that Saturday, they could bond over a movie or just talk. Sometimes they were able to see each other frequently. Sometimes whole weeks passed without them communicating. But that was what life was. A medley of successes and failures.

The file containing their relationship had been elusive for quite awhile. But it was saved right were it started. They could resume it now.

The search was over. At least for now.


	7. When You Love Someone

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.

* * *

The steam from his cup of coffee rose in the way a woman's hair swirls about on a windy day. Or at least for Shigure anyway, who couldn't tear his mind away from the opposite sex for a long period of time. He found he could compare almost anything to a woman's features or temperament. 

Like now. Hatori was acting like an impatient woman hoping to draw her husband's attention with a soliloquy that stultified the senses, a relentless banter of negative phrases. But the man did this with no words. Annoyance rose from and fanned him in a glorious aura of pissed-off-ness. This agitation was expressed with good reason. Shigure hadn't spoken for fifteen minutes, a new record of silence for him. When around people, the Dog found it necessary to exercise his vocal cords. Sometimes he didn't even need an audience.

A loud sigh he hoped sounded tragic emitted from his lips as he took a large gulp of the bitter beverage. _More sugar_, he thought as he reached for the sugar dispenser in the center of the table.

He felt the sticky summer-like breeze touch his neck with the entrance of another customer. Hatori and Shigure met at a quiet café on a stormy Saturday. No. Not met. Met implied that both parties willingly entered company with one another. Shigure had practically commanded Hatori join him, dragging him along until he shot him a withering glare and threw the hand clawed around his arm off.

"You...wanted to see me. Any particular reason?" Hatori asked.

He put on a worried frown as if seriously offended. "Do I need a reason? I'm not always getting into trouble!" A theatrical voice accompanied the palm slapped over his forehead, putting forth a farce of being deeply hurt. "Why do you always think the worst of me? Ooh, ooh! I feel all squiggly just thinking about it. And that look." He pointed at Hatori. "That disapproving look filled with...disapproval."

"Why is it you feel the need for this? Cut the dramatics. If you have something to say, do so," he replied in his usual monotone.

He gave the medic's words some consideration. Why did he feel the need to do this? To give every matter, no matter how mundane, sprinkles of drama? _Because that's who I am!_ he answered himself confidently, stirring in the sugar from the torn packet. If only he felt as sure. There was more to it. He knew that to be fact, but wanted to dance around it. Why?

_I...hate tension. And... I hate the terrible things in life, same as everyone. But I'd rather cover up that fear with jokes, prolong revisiting anything grotesque._

Eyes flashed dangerous silver in his mind. He couldn't suppress the shudder upsetting his shoulders. What had Kyou done to her? That bastard. He couldn't help feeling contempt, just a small portion, for the male, and then felt the tiniest bit of remorse afterward. Was it entirely Kyou's fault? He hadn't asked to fall for Tohru. But he had, and their bliss was her melancholy.

After she left him on the roof, he had felt empty. He had tried to help her and hadn't succeeded. Things were more one-dimensional when she was younger. All he had to chirp was, "Endure!" and she would. But the same word wouldn't help her. Kagura wasn't a machine: give her a command and she'd comply. Even though he knew she wanted to move on, Kagura just couldn't. It would take time, lots of time. Time was her enemy now, making her stare at the ceiling of her room. He could only imagine her torment.

"You're my best friend, Ha'ri. Well, one of them, next of Aya, naturally. But I've always valued your advice, your insight. I called you a fun-sucker once when you wouldn't do karaoke, but I was drunk and therefore unaccountable for my actions. But... I didn't mean that. I don't feel that way, is what I'm trying to say."

He appeared to be taken aback by Shigure's bashful chatter. Once he recollected himself, which didn't take long, he cleared his throat. "I know, Shigure. And... Uh..." He wasn't used to giving heart-to-hearts, shown by the way he fidgeted in his seat with downcast eyes. He reminded him of a timid boy. Shigure grinned. "I don't think you're... annoying. Or silly. Well, I do think you're silly, but you're not always..."

"Let's be honest here! I am silly. I'm childish. I'm absent-minded and foolish. I'm outspoken and inconvenience people to get what I want. I'm... a Gimme."

Hatori almost choked on the swallow of coffee going down his throat. "Excuse me? A Gimme?" The way he Hatori posed the questions made him think Hatori believed the term to be of Shigure's invention. But he couldn't claim ownership.

He smiled with closed eyes as he slanted his back, shoulders cuddling the cream-colored wall behind him. Gimme. A simple word describing the worst of human sins: greed. Gimme. It was a decisive word, quick, efficient, a command. But he disagreed on Kagura on one thing. She wasn't just a Gimme. Kagura was the most demanding, stubborn person he knew. And she had stepped on a few toes to get what she wanted. Well, more like beaten a person, namely Kyou, senseless to get what she wanted. But she skimped out on giving herself credit. The very act of her letting him go made her a Giver. She was considering what Kyou wanted instead of her own needs. And, yes, she was angry. But she didn't act on those feelings. She even lied to Tohru and Kyou, telling them how happy she was for them! He had witnessed the scene between them, had seen, just for a second, a splash of falseness in her expressions, her movements, her words.

He opened his eyes. "A Gimme, according to Kagu-chan, is a selfish person only interested in their own welfare. Gimmes are the toe-steppers of the world, the ones who are self-absorbed. That's what I am," he said simply. "A Gimme. And don't you dare try to deny it," he commanded as he witnessed Hatori's lips part. Shigure threw out a carefree laugh. "That was a Gimme thing of me to do. Gimmes are big on ordering people around.

"I dragged you here." A solemn expression matched equally serious words. "I've made you do karaoke so many times. With my Sparkly-Eyed Technique." He allowed himself a note of laughter. "I can't recall how many times I made teachers alter my grades. Poor Karuma-sensei. She was so easy to manipulate though.

"On my seventeenth birthday, Kagura found a picture I was drawing of her. She was coloring it in, happily chattering to herself as she gave herself green eyes and red hair. I remember thinking; _she's having fun without me? Unacceptable_. And I grabbed her arm, telling her to draw me. With a smile, but an order's an order.

"And then there's Mii-chan, sweet, innocent Mii-chan, who's just trying to scrape out a living for herself. I keep denying her my manuscripts, playing a game with her every time. Demanding an explosion from her by frustrating her and being fulfilled every time. You know, I think I chose her to be my editor because she reminded me of Karuma-sensei: a push-over. And I appreciate her for that! Any normal person'd give up on me, quit. However, she stayed because..." He waggled his eyebrows at Hatori, darting him a meaningful glance. Hatori didn't get the message.

"...I'm very persuasive when I want to be," he said finally.

Hatori blinked. After a long silence, he said, "Look, Shigure, I know what you are. But you can't possibly believe that people are one or the other. People are a mix of... demanding, selfish and... kind, self-sacrificing."

He nodded in agreement. "As infants, we were Gimmes. Wanting food, wanting attention, wanting to be changed, wanting sleep. In those days, we resorted to crying, but with our evolved awareness and vocabulary, we could make those desires more clear. But with time, our personas change. As babies, we didn't know how to give, but now that we're older, we can be altruistic as well.

"Kagura...is way too hard on herself. She thinks of herself as only selfish for loving Kyou without getting his assent. His assent. As if she needs his permission to love him, although I'm sure he would've wanted that. He would've avoided many annually broken bones that way. Kagura disregarded what he wanted, which was to be left alone. In that sense, and others, she is a Gimme. But she's done so much. She told me...it was okay for me to be Undecided. That I didn't have to know what I wanted to pursue as a career yet. She even decided to be Undecided with me." He suddenly thought of her grey eyes, pretty grey eyes filled with starry hope as she made her pledge that they'd figure out what they wanted to do with their lives together. She was vivid in his mind: tall, with dark hair and flawless skin.

Beautiful.

This surprised him. What was this? What was he feeling? He always had known of her beauty, but this... Why was his heart racing? Why was he feeling so faint? Why was he thinking about everything she was and feeling...like this? Why was he thinking of how much she had done for him and not feeling the same simple affection he once felt?

"Oh no," he muttered. "Oh, God. Oh, Ha'ri. Is this that emotion? Is this love?" He looked at the male sitting adjacent from him. "That's really bad for me! Aya said that if I loved anyone other than him, he'd punish me severely," he cried with a napkin corner jabbing the corner of his humor-filled eyes. Shigure sighed, no longer joking. "It...is." Soft surprise caressed his sentence. "What an inopportune time for me to fall! But I shouldn't do that. Think of myself.

"When you love someone, truly love someone, you have to know when to let go. Even if you'd rather die than give them up, when it's their time to leave, let them. Kagura did this for Kyou because his happiness meant more than her own. Tohru made him happy, and even if she wasn't happy with that, she at least respected that. You did the same for... Kana-kun, because you loved her, because the only thing that would give her happiness would befor her to forget you. You were a strong person for doing this. I know it must've hurt deeply, knowing of what you used to share.

"I think I have my solution, Ha'ri. I've fallen for a woman with a shattered heart. It would be selfish of me to tell her I love her now. She'd have to tell me she doesn't feel the same and that'd hurt her more. I can't bear the thought of doing that: causing her grief. So I'll hope that she's happy without me. It'll be a lie, of course. I want her to be happy, but if she were to be happy without me... I don't know if I could bear that." A pause.

"But here's my plan. I won't tell her of my feelings, ever. Do you know why, Ha'ri? Because I don't deserve her. And I'd be greedy, only thinking of myself, if I did tell her. It's a cowardly act, and shields my heart from rejection. But if it helps her, it can't be bad of me to do this, is it, Ha'ri?"

He drained the last of his coffee. The lukewarm liquid bit his tongue with its pungent flavor.

_Kagura... you've lived with this unrequited love for him for so long, most of your life. You've endured better than I have. And because of that, you need someone as giving as you. So...be happy without me, Kagu-chan._


	8. Until Forever

This is... the end.

Thank you, everyone, for the reviews. You've made posting and such worth it. Thank you, new readers! Hope you visit more of my fics (hint, hint). Gimme hasn't always been the most fun thing to write for me, but I generally loved writing it. As always, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Furuba.

* * *

"Ahhhhhh! Where is it?" 

Music to his ears. He closed his eyes as if to savor his editor's frantic shrieks. She was scrambling around in that way of hers, throwing his study into chaos.

"You should help me look! I can't believe you'd lose something so vital! And you're not even finished!"

"Just have to type up the last chapter," Shigure remarked absently. Telling her a small lie, that his manuscript was misplaced, wasn't such a bad thing, was it? His brown eyes took in her weary irises framed with red veins, her disheveled hair, her wrinkled turquoise skirt and jacket. And she had arrived looking so pretty before! Full of optimism for some odd reason. But that was his Mii, the eternal optimist. Well, maybe the term didn't fit. _Yep_, he decided as he watched her mouth transfigure itself into a lipsticked growl. _She was definitely more optimistic when she first came to work for me._ _And this is what I've reduced her to..._

"Mii-chan."

The brunette looked up, shocked, as if unsure of how to respond to her name. "Y--Yes?"

Why not? He'd be nice to her. This time. He hooked compassionate eyes outlined with mischief on Mii and introduced a smile to his mouth.

"Well... You've been working so hard... And I wanna... Well, uh... Take you out somewhere, to reward you and all." Realizing that his last sentence was more of a statement than a request, he asked, "Well? Would you like to go out with me?"

A blink. "What?"

"I'm asking you out, Mii-chan!" He smiled, losing his former verbal clumsiness. "Let's go out tonight. If you're free," he added hastily.

Her eyes were augmented. "How... How could you ask me that?"

"Well, simply," he told her matter-of-factly. "I thought, _Hey, I'll ask Mii-chan out_, and I did so."

"But... We..." She nervously grasped for the right words to epitomize what her point was. "I'm your... employee. And... Relationships like that, I... It..."

"You trying to say you don't want to go out with me as **just friends**? Well, why didn't you say so? I've always loved you, you know." Hey, he could be nice, but that didn't mean he had to sacrifice his favorite hobby: teasing Mii-chan.

She slumped to the floor, eyes clouded with disappointment and tears. "Why do you always tease me?"

"Oh, Mii. I wasn't teasing. I'm serious! I love you."

"If you loved me, Sensei," she sniffled, "you would be prompt with your manuscripts and you wouldn't be so hard on me. I was trying to explain that love and work is a bad combination." She looked up at him. Seeing Mii on all fours, gazing up at him with tears dripping down her cheeks, he felt a pang of sympathy.

"I'll tell you what. If you want, you can go home now. I'll look for my manuscript. Then, later, should you decide to go out with me, I'll give it to you then. Sound fair?"

She released a breath in a shaky shudder. "Okay. But you'd better look."

Shigure laughed as he helped her up and offered her a handkerchief. She pressed the yellow cloth to her streaming eyes.

He watched Mii leave with a smile. That poor woman. He swiveled to face his PC and ejected the floppy his novel was saved on. If his eyes were to retrace the path Mii exited, he would've noticed a woman standing there with the most sorrowful gray eyes. But he didn't turn and the woman glided past, too hurt to make a visit to his study.

_

* * *

_

_Why?_

_I don't know._

_Why?_

_I told you, I don't know. Leave me alone._

Kagura looked down at the body of water before her. She normally loved visiting the family-owned hot spring. She had even talked to Ritsu, which was nice. But that was after she frantically pulled him out of the steamy water, a result of another suicide attempt. However, his talk of wanting to die and killing himself was less frequent. Perhaps he would see his worth someday and learn to truly love himself.

Now, she wondered if he hadn't had the right idea. Right now, she considered throwing herself in the water and drowning herself. Only for a split second, not a serious contemplation, but she felt as if she were dying, suffocating, and it wasn't just because of the steam.

Rising from the large boulder she'd perched herself on, a red-faced Kagura made her way dizzily to the bus stop. The wind cooled her blood-filled face. The nausea subsided and she sighed in relief.

A year had elapsed since the commencement of Kyou's and Tohru's romantic involvement. Kagura was fairly sure that she was finally over him and was glad, released from a terrible plight. No more drowning in self-pity. No more bursting into tears or enduring constant waves of compassion from her family. Gone were the dark days. Life had a purpose.

A sharp jab in the cardiac muscle reminded her that life may have a purpose, but she was still hurting, only the pain sprung from a different cause.

When she decided to pay her cousins and Tohru a visit today, she'd been bursting with joy and excitement. She couldn't wait to see Kyou. She couldn't wait to see everyone! Kagura even sang on her long trek there, something she ordinarily avoided at all costs due to her less-than-melodious singing voice.

She bounded in and rushed to Shigure's study since it appeared that no one else was home. She followed the shrieks of his editor and Shigure's lilting voice. And she'd been about to waltz in and reprimand Shigure for torturing that poor woman when she heard them (or maybe just Shigure) making plans for their nocturnal rendezvous. Something entered her then. It was pandemonium in her mind, her heart was tightening around an unidentified emotion...

Jealousy. That was it. How could she have not seen it? She was jealous.

Kagura pulled away from the actualization. No way. Jealous? Why?

_You know,_ a voice in her told her.

_I told you, I don't_, she answered.

_You do._

She took a deep breath and held it. Air immediately fell from her lips as if being rejected by her lungs.

_Okay, fine_, Kagura admitted. _I am jealous. I'm jealous. _

She ordered herself to focus. And she did, not scanning herself for superficial answers, but truthful ones as to the reason why.

_Shigure has always been there_, she thought. _Even when flirting with Aya, he'd always been the unattached one. And if he were to enter a relationship with Mii-chan, I'm afraid he'll have no time for me. I'm anticipating how much I'll miss him._

No. There was another reason. What was it?

The bus swung gracefully beside her and the woman boarded it, more confused than enlightened. But she knew one thing. She was going to be braver. She was going to march right back to his house and do one thing and one thing only.

Try to convince him not to wear his butler suit when on his date with Mii.

* * *

"Ah! Just the people I wanted to see!" Shigure was all smiles as he bounded to the Cat and his girlfriend. Laughter threatened to burst from his throat but he suppressed it. 

"What the hell do you want?" Kyou asked as he tightened his hand around hers. "We're about to go out."

"So I see," Shigure commented, taking in the blue and white summer dress Tohru wore, along with the sure-to-be-uncomfortable high heels she was in. Her hair was pulled back and her face was brushed with makeup, the transformation courtesy of Kagura.

Kyou noticed and shoved her behind him as if he could ward off his leering eyes that way. "Sicko! Don't look at my Tohru-chan that way!"

Pretending to be deeply hurt, he cried, "**Your** Tohru-chan? She's ours, not yours. And anyway, you can't own a person. Well, Kyou-kun?" Leaning in. "Are you implying that you can own someone? Where are you going, Tohru-kun?" he asked, looking at her.

"We're going out to dinner. There's this new restaurant that opened here and it's supposed to serve really good food."

"Not better than yours, I'm sure," he winked as he tilted her chin with his index finger.

"Just because you're lonely doesn't mean you have to move in on... Tohru," he growled as he slapped his hand from her face.

Shigure discreetly rubbed his injured hand, not wanting to let him know how much that hurted. "Well, that's where you're wrong! It just so happens that I do have a date! With Mii-chan." His voice stretched over her name. His eyes widened along with Tohru's.

Finally he unleashed a bark of laughter. "Some date! She'll just scold you. I really," voice dripping in sarcasm, "envy you, Shigure."

"Hey, you stick to your love life, I'll stick with mine."

"Since when have you ever not stuck your incredibly long nose in our business?"

"Ta-da!" He placed a small manila envelope about the size of a check in Tohru's hands.

Kyou gave him a bewildered, suspicious look. "What are those?"

Shigure kept a straight face for once. "Movie tickets. After all, a dinner isn't exactly a date, not a complete one anyway."

Her eyes grew in size as she placed them on the benefactor.

"I couldn't-- I mean, we couldn't accept these! These must've cost so much and you must've reserved them ahead of time, which would've cost you more! This is too much, I..."

"If you keep telling me how wonderful I am," he chuckled, "you'll miss the 9 o'clock show. So accept these tickets, Tohru-kun, Kyou-kun, and have fun watching--"

"Even Though I Love You!?" He tossed a scornful look his way. "This sounds like a chick flick! No way do I want to see this!"

"Well it's not up to you. It's up to Tohru. Well, Tohru? Do you want to see the movie?"

"Stop trying to sabotage her!"

"And stop answering for her. She is in the room. She has a voice, and doesn't need you to speak on her behalf."

"N--No, it's okay." Her eyes darted to the male beside her. "Thank you, Shigure, for the tickets. It was nice of you, generous of you to buy these and I'd love to accept them. But if Kyou doesn't want to... uh..."

"No, I want to," he said gently. "Even if it sucks, I want to watch it with you."

"It won't suck!" he protested, injecting an offended tone in his words. "It's the perfect blend of romance and action." Another giggle suppressed. "You'll love it. Really. Now go! The night won't last forever."

"...Thanks," he replied grudgingly before Tohru said goodbye. They left arm-in-arm, Shigure's eyes lingering on their vanishing forms. At least one pair in this house could find bliss. Swallowing his self-pitying, he spun around.

"Kagura!"

Shigure wasn't entirely sure of how to act around her. He knew that he was in love with her, and that changed how he saw her, spoke to her. She must've noticed, right? And at the same time, Shigure was a fantastic actor. He was fairly sure Kagura didn't know of her altered role in his heart.

This was odd. Why had her gaze dropped to the floor? She was acting like Kisa, with red cheeks and her toe nervously digging into the floor.

Almost immediately, she removed the color from her face and looked him directly in the eye. "I hear you're going out with Mii-chan," she said with a weakly held-up smile.

Shigure grinned. "Yep. I'm always so mean to her, so I thought I'd be nice for once." He didn't know why he had explained himself. It was almost as if he were reassuring Kagura that he wasn't romantically interested in his editor, as if her shyness was a result of her insecurity. He knew that she wasn't insecure. How could she be? But there was the explanation, standing in the air, with no way of him reclaiming the words.

"Well... I hope you have fun then." _Damn_, she thought. She'd fought so hard for control of her voice, but it wobbled and trembled without her consent. His puzzled look alerted her to his awareness of her erratic behavior. She had to do something, say something to divert his attention.

"Look, I'd stay and all, but I am beat." She created a pretense of lethargy by yawning hugely and grinding her fist into her eye. Kagura glided to the shoji and gave him a backwards glance. "Shigure."

"Yeah?"

"...Don't wear the suit. I know you ironed it and all, but..." Amusement in her voice, "it makes you look like a butler."

His laughter joined the jangling sound of her giggles, as soft and melodious as fingers dancing atop piano keys. It was only when his solitary notes of laughter prevailed that he realized that she had already left. He felt immediately somber. Empty, empty...

_What am I doing standing here?_ he wondered. _I have a date to go on_.

* * *

"And you didn't even change. You're still wearing your yukata from this afternoon!" Mii's voice was shrill, and for good reason. She had gone all out. The woman was outfitted in a sunrise pink dress with a gauzy scarf twisted around her throat. She even wore makeup, which she rarely had time to apply due to her busy schedule. And here Shigure was, ten minutes late in picking her up, with wind-tousled hair and he hadn't even dressed up! 

"Nice dress," he said after a while.

"Aahhhhh! You're impossible!"

"Impossibly handsome?"

She shot him a withering glare. "No."

Mii and Shigure were seated at a table in an elegant restaurant. Not exactly his taste, but anything for his wonderful editor!

She lifted the menu up, hiding her face. "Hey, this place is expensive. Don't get so angry," he wanted to say, but this was a night where there he'd play nice. As nice as he could be.

"Do you have the manuscript?" she asked dully, as if anticipating a negative response.

Shigure chuckled. "Can't you get your mind off work for one second, Mii-chan?" But he pulled out his floppy disk and slid it across the table. To his delight, she tossed her menu aside and dove for it, tears of happiness in her eyes as her fingers gripped the device as if it were made out of diamonds.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she sobbed. This was amusing, seeing as she was drawing attention to herself. There was something warm in his chest, the good feeling you get from doing something benevolent and noble, he guessed.

Mii slid the floppy into her purse and recollected herself as one gathers the pearls of a broken necklace. "Thank you, Sensei. This means the world to me. I really hope you'll be more prompt in the future. Well, compared to the other times, you're practically early right now!"

They laughed. He stared at her while asking, "Why?"

The waiter glided to their table, inquiring if they had made their selection. After Mii chirped out her order, and a lot of exaggerated moments of deliberation from Shigure, he made his choice. Placing two cups of water before them, he went to the next available table.

"Why what? Why you're so early? Well it's only taken you a week when usually, you procrastinate or whatever until past or even a week before the deadline!"

"Well, that. But why did you stay? You're a resilient person, and would probably enjoy working for someone less frustrating. Why me?"

The inquiry made her uncomfortable. Her cheeks reddened as she became suddenly enamored with the white table cloth dressing their table. "A... A lot of reasons, Sensei," she finally said. "I didn't want to give up on you when so many did."

"But there's another reason," he persisted as he forwarded his head in her direction. This was fun, seeing her get embarrassed. "Don't tell me you like me."

She shot him a glare as if this were absurd. "Oh, sure. I really do like you," she intoned with sarcasm.

"So you hate me!" he wailed. "Really, Mii-chan? You hate me?"

"At times like this, yes!" she shrieked. "I-- Don't... You... Dare... Tell... Anyone... This," she ground out.

"I could just leave you here to pay the check," he threatened smilingly, "the way you're speaking to me. But I swear I won't tell anyone," he promised with his hand up as if testifying in court.

Mii sighed. That man could get under her skin so easily. _Why do I let him?_ she wondered as she took a sip of water. Would she regret telling him? But whatever. She was too weary to put up any more defenses.

"It started after... I ran out..."

_

* * *

_

_"I don't want to work here anymore!"_

_"But Mii-chan! You're so entertaining! I have the manuscript here!"_

_Tears of helplessness and frustration expanded in her eyes, dripping down her cheeks. The male's proclamation might've made more of an impact if he were chasing her, begging her to stay. But within the first five minutes, she realized how futile compliance from Shigure was. Mii had made a respite to his place just as a frantic redhead rushed out of the entrance. But young, optimistic Mii had just smiled. Surely he wasn't as bad as so many editors said. He had to have his good points as well. _

_Mii was sure she'd never be such a hopeful optimist again._

_He claimed he didn't have his manuscript, that he hadn't even started it. Hell, he didn't even have a premise. 'Brilliance, Mii-chan, true brilliance can't be pinned down by deadlines, and certainly can't be rushed.' That's what he had said from his infuriating mouth._

_'That may be so, but there are expectations from you, Sensei,' she'd scolded him gently. She wasn't eager for the conversation to evolve into a screaming match._

_There was no need to worry. Shigure wasn't one to scream. The argument was in actuality a one-sided campaign to give him impetus to write. And that man had just smiled and said the most off-topic things!_

_"Ow!" Her vision was severely handicapped, causing her to fall from the porch. Her new skirt and blouse, ruined. Seeing the spring green material mingle with the mud made Mii burst into tears. Hopeless! She had come here, wanting to prove to herself that she could tame the notorious Shigure-sensei every editor avoided, and she had failed miserably. She might as well kill herself right now. _

_"Are you all right?" _

_Her amber eyes were attached to the most handsome face she had ever seen. She had to admit, grudgingly of course, that Shigure was good-looking. But this male was different. His maturity, his voice... She wanted to faint when hearing his smooth voice._

_"Y--Yes," she stammered as she got up and brushed the soil from her skirt. She tossed out a carefree laugh as if this matter weren't of any consequence to her. "I'm fine. Uh… May I ask your name?"_

_He looked a bit surprised at the random question. Mii herself was surprised. She accepted the gray and black handkerchief he offered her and pressed her eyes to it. _

_She was relieved when he responded with, "Sohma Hatori. I'm Shigure's cousin. You must be his newest victim."_

_Mii laughed. "I was hoping he wasn't going to be difficult. But that would be like asking a baby never to cry." She attached to her sentence hastily, "But he isn't so bad! He is a... vibrant man and seems to be a lot of fun." She hoped she hadn't insulted him. She had implied that his cousin was a terror after all._

_"Vibrant," he spat with a touch of contempt in his voice. "That's putting it mildly. You're bleeding."_

_"Oh." She blushed. First she had stumbled, looking like a fool, and now she was bleeding in front of him. "Where?"_

_He was about to point, then, seeming to think that that would be impolite, rubbed his thumb lightly over her temple. "Here." A pause. "I'm going to have to talk to him about this."_

_Could a person die from a touch? Mii sure felt as if she would. "Th--Thank you," she stuttered as she held the handkerchief to her wound. Right there and then, she decided something. She couldn't give up on Shigure! After all, first impressions were sometimes wrong. _

* * *

"Then Sohma-san-- your cousin-- went back inside with me. And he chewed you out," she said with a touch of smugness in her voice. 

Shigure created the pretense of being upset. "So it had nothing to do with me! It was so you could drool all over Ha'ri! How conniving you are, Mii!"

"No!" she denied with a red face. "I suddenly felt empowered! It had nothing to do with Ha-- Sohma-san! I found the strength to stay!"

"Suuuuurrrrreeeee," he drawled. Aw, Mii-chan was in love. How cute.

Their orders arrived and the two ate. Mii stuffed her face with food, as if she could ward off any more embarrassing comments from Shigure with an occupied mouth.

"Mii-chan."

She looked up and gulped. "Yes?"

"The reason I wanted to take you out was... Oh, look who's here!" he exclaimed. He waved to the two people he'd indicated.

Hatori looked at Shigure and was considering not going over there, but Ayame waved back and dragged him across the room.

He looked at her slyly, but she didn't notice due to the menu hiding her face.

"Hiiii!" Ayame greeted Shigure. Mii instantly died when seeing Ayame cling to Hatori's arm. _Of course he has a girlfriend, _she thought sadly.

"What're you guys doing here?" Shigure asked in false surprise. He knew full well why they were. Ayame somehow got his working stiff cousin to join him for dinner. He'd been bragging about it to Shigure earlier that day. "Mii, dear," he cooed as he lowered the menu from her face. "It's rude to ignore our guests."

"You were ignoring me," she murmured before launching a giant smile across her face, looking at the new arrivals. "Hello," she greeted as she introduced herself.

The males did so in turn.

Shigure rose from his chair. "I gotta go," he announced. "It was lovely, Mii-chan, being with you."

Panic raced across her features. "Wait. You-- You're leaving?" she squeaked, shooting Hatori a furtive look.

"Yes. Aya, dear, do me a favor, please?"

"Anything, anything!"

He leaned in to whisper in his ear. "Mii-chan likes Hatori," he giggled. "I know how you hate sharing and all, but I'll tell you what. The two of us'll go to Chinatown, pick up some coconut buns, grab some sake and dance in the streets, singing. Let's leave the work-obsessed lovers here."

Ayame giggled. Going to Chinatown and dancing in the streets while intoxicated was a tradition of theirs, accomplished only on Ayame's birthday and out of Hatori's company. To be doing this when his birthday was months away was something special. "I should be pissed off at you, playing matchmaker like this." He looked at Mii and winked, who dropped her gaze with a blush brushed on her cheeks. "But whatever. I'll let it slide."

"See you!" they cried, hands joined.

"But Sensei--!"

"Thank you, Mii-chan. You're a wonderful editor."

Stunned with silence, Shigure and Ayame found their chance to leave.

"Wait!" she cried, but it was a weak protest. They were already gone. Mii looked at Hatori.

"I think I know why I stayed," Mii said, more to herself than to Hatori. It had just occurred to her then. She squinted in concentration, focusing on the memory. "I remember telling him I was going to quit... And his eyes got all... sparkly. And his voice was sweet as he convinced me to stay."

Hatori sweatdropped. "The Sparkly-Eyed Technique." He sighed. "I know how that goes, unfortunately."

* * *

The night was young and Kagura was feeling old. It was ridiculous. She was a young adult and instead of doing fun things like going on dates and hitting the clubs, she was at home watching T.V. with her mother. And knitting. Knitting! 

She frowned at the jumble of pink and yellow yarn that was supposed to be a sweater. Why she was knitting, she didn't know. All she knew was that she saw a basket of yarn and some crochet needles. She'd asked her mom if knitting was hard. Her mother simply shrugged and told her to find out for herself.

She pressed her cheek to the cooled surface of the wall behind her. Her stomach churned. It had to be eleven o'clock. Was Shigure dropping Mii off? Did he kiss her goodnight? Was he kissing her at this moment?

She sighed.

"Something wrong, dear?" Her mother frowned slightly, looking at her daughter. "Your sighs are drowning out the sound from the T.V."

The program was duly noted with a shifting of her eyes to the screen. Kagura barely read the subtitles racing below the scene taking place. As of now, a short-haired woman was slapping the handsome male lead. Her mother was a Korean drama fanatic. Kagura had to admit to liking them too, but the one that was on presently was boring to her.

But she had to admit, the bitch slaps on that show were amazing.

She got on her feet. "I'm going out, Mom."

She nodded as she focused her attention on the screen again. A barely audible sigh, then she allowed the nocturnal realm to envelop her.

* * *

Shigure stumbled into his study, the effects of the alcohol ebbing from him, but still feeling as if he were intoxicated. 

_Oh, wait_, he thought while giggling and looking at his watch. _It's only... nine._ He blinked. So early. What was he doing here so early? Or was his watch slow or broken?

Further inspection revealed that the actual time was midnight. Where were Tohru and Kyou? Were they asleep?

His head blossomed into a dull ache. He'd be incredibly hung over in the morning. But he hadn't even drank that much! Ayame had consumed enough alcohol for two and still had the coordination to dance.

Papers, papers... Mii had really done a number on his room! He curved his spine over the floor as if seriously considering cleaning up, then said, "Later," and allowed his back to be upright once more.

He'd been planning on waiting until Tohru and Kyou got here, playing games on his computer, then going to sleep, but a lilac envelope caught his attention.

It was easy to see why his eyes had missed it. It was tiny on the cluttered desk and shoved along the edges of a haphazard stack of papers as if eluding discovery. He pulled the corner towards his person, causing the collapse of the tall stack, but wasn't concerned about that at the moment. The envelope simply showcased his name in silver pen, almost as if it were an invitation. He didn't need a fancy envelope to draw his attention; the mystery of the content inside it was enough of a welcome for him. He tore it open and drew a piece of cream-colored paper from it. The scent of plum blossoms vaguely hit his nose as he unfolded it and read.

_Shii-kun,_

_Near my old elementary school is a grove of ume trees. I want you to meet me there at ten. If you don't, I'll kill you. Just kidding, but be there!_

_Please?_

_Kagu-chan_

He laughed softly. How could he resist such a sweet and in no way demanding offer? His eyes scanned the appointed time... Ten! Crap, it was way past!

Placing the letter in his yukata, he rushed out of his domain into the dazzling spring night.

* * *

There was no need to panic, right? Right? 

_There isn't anything to panic about_, she reassured herself. _He probably hasn't even read it. I know how he is. He's probably still out. I placed the letter on his desk before I knew of his plans with Mii-chan, so... What should I do?_

"I know," she told herself as she paced in front of the line of plum blossom trees. "I'll lie to him. I'll say that... No, that'll sound dumb. I'll tell him it was a joke! Or I might be able... To go into his house and get the letter back! Yeah, that'll be the best course of action."

"You're planning on breaking into my house? Honestly, Kagura, I'm so ashamed of you."

She turned haltingly. The moonlight fell on a head of coal black hair and spilled onto his shoulders. Shigure.

A fragrant spring breeze wafted past and the woman finally took in the lovely scenery. The flowers blooming on the branches of the ume trees were a delicate moon-white shade. The shadows were partly sloped over the blossoms, painting fushia crescents on the petals. The full moon smiled on them, gauzy silver clouds shrouded around it as if forming a glorious halo. Tiny pricks of light studded the satiny blue sky.

"Spring is a time of second chances," he said softly, approaching Kagura. A smile blazed on his face. "And an excuse to get blitzed!" He held up a bag holding a heavy glass bottle. "I got some umeshu to celebrate. It isn't everyday when a pretty girl singles me out for her company, not one as lovely as you anyway. Do sit next to me." He rested under a plum blossom tree and waited expectantly for her to follow suit. "Or are you trying to get out of it? I heard you rambling, you know."

"N-- No! Not at all! I was just... um... I made you come out here and you're probably tired..."

"Nonsense, girl. I'm raring to go. I'm very curious as to why you've summoned me here." He took out a plastic cup and poured the plum-flavored liquor for himself. He looked at her sheepishly. "I would've gotten glasses, but I was in a hurry."

"It doesn't matter." She resigned herself to her fate, plopping herself on the slight incline under the trees. He poured her a generous amount of umeshu and handed her the cup. Now that he was here, she was confused. Why had she summoned Shigure?

Her pulse was thrust into overdrive when she laid her eyes on him. The moonlight cut into his profile, giving him a dramatic air. He was handsome and she had always known this, but now that she realized how she felt for him, her indifference to his good looks had transfigured itself. It suddenly mattered that he was handsome and kind and funny. Not to say that she hadn't treasured these things. But she used to be filled with so much love for Kyou that she hadn't focused on his aspects so intensely.

Shigure had to admit, the attention she was giving him was nice and all, but the way her eyes were attached to him was a little nerve-racking. But he relaxed his muscles and looked her directly in the eye. Blushing, she looked away, giving him the pleasure of gazing at her with discretion. With the pale light of the moon on her, her gray eyes had transformed into a gentle silver. This silver was unintimidating, so unlike the ones he had faced as she told him how much of a Gimme she was. Her eyes had been hard, angry then, and also had revealed her damaged soul. He felt his heart accend in his chest. So much had occured and now Kagura could laugh again, smile again. _I hope she finds happiness with someone someday_, he hoped as he took another sip of his beverage.

Looking back, he realized how selfish he'd been, even when telling Hatori how much he loved her. He'd said that he would lie to himself, try to convince himself that he wanted her to be happy without him. But had that really been love? Months later, he didn't care if she never loved him the same way he loved her. It was enough knowing that she had exited the storm. Yes, he felt he must've matured. _Not too much though. I'd have ended up like Ha'ri then_, he thought.

That was a lie. He did care that she wouldn't love him romantically. However, that was so small in comparison to what had happened to Kagura. She'd actually moved on! She was happy! And in that same flash of occurence, he knew that he was happy because of her repaired heart. A stab of pain dived into his heart, but he closed his eyes and smiled. Loveanguished him everyday, but it was a sweet pain. _As long as I'm hurting, I'm not hurting her. She doesn't have to know how I feel._

"Shigure."

Opened eyes. "Yes?"

She looked into her half-empty cup. "Spring is the time for second chances, correct? That's what you said."

"Yes. Plants that perished in the winter have their chance at life again in the spring. Even when their remains fade, their roots extend underground. As long as the roots are there, there's another chance for them. It's the same with people. Kagura, you gave up on Kyou, which showed your strength. But losing him was like a form of death for you, I'm sure. But through this, you never lost... your ability to love, even though love was the cause of your sorrow. I really admire you. I wonder if I can ever be as amazing."

She faintly smiled as she placed the cup on her right. "I have grown," she admitted hesitantly. "I think my method of showing Kyou my affection was dangerous, to say the least. In order to truly love someone, you have to not... beat the crap out of them. I mean, I shouldn't have kicked his ass."

"You couldn't help it! It was a part of your character. Maybe the way you went about it was odd, but you should never lose your enthusiasm for someone like that. I admired that, you know. How no matter how many times he pushed you away, you had the strength to try again, all with exuberance."

"One time I came to his school in a cheerleading outfit," she reminisced laughingly.

"I remember. And you even made up a cheer for him and decorated the outfit with orange kittens. I remember thinking how cute it was. Kyou didn't share my sentiment, sadly."

Kagura looked into the shining moon. "I wish I could take it back. What I did to Kyou. But I shouldn't have regrets. Regrets are useless to have. The past is the past. I have to look ahead, not behind. And if I do look behind, I want it to be with happiness, not regret. I did apologize to him, but I'm going to really make it up to him."

"I'm going to change," Shigure promised. "You're not the only Gimme, Kagu-chan. In truth, you aren't one."

"How can you say that? I'm the most stubborn,bossy person you know," she insisted. "I made you come meet me."

"If I hadn't wanted to meet you, I wouldn't have. I do what I want. And I wanted to see you. You're one of my favorite people to be around."

She reddened. "Even if you didn't feel like it, you would've! I know you, Shigure."

He leaned in. "Do you?"

Kagura looked into his eyes. Do you? A teasing question, but almost like a challenge.

"I am a Gimme. Please just admit it," she told him.

He laughed. "Okay, Gimme Girl. You are! But is that such a bad thing? Everyone wants things, demands things. It's human nature to want, just like the sun rises and sets. Do you know what I want?"

He had to reel himself in. _No, no_, hepleaded withhimself. _Don't do it, don't. You promised. You're going to hurt her._

But he had to convince her somehow that she wasn't the only Gimme. He had to.

He leaned in closer, the scent of ume dancing about. There was something in her eyes. A want. As if she were pleading with him to do something...

He blinked and it was gone, gone as easily as the curtain drops over the final scene of a play. Crazy as it was... He had to.

"Kagura?"

She nodded faintly.

And then the oddest thing happened. The most wonderful.

"Gimme!" they shouted in unison. A split second of confusion, then both moved at the same moment.

They had shared the same thought, shouted the same word... And at the same time, their lips collided.

Happiness, relief, and giddy excitement entered her all at once. She recalled the time when she was five and he had told her to endure, to not give up. Back then, she had envisioned herself yelling, "Gimme!" and kissing him. It hadn't made sense to her then, but perhaps it'd been a premonition. Kagura didn't care. Her mind had shut down, with only her heart racing and shrieking in glee. She loved him.

"I love you," he murmured when their lips parted ways. Was it possible to die from a kiss? He felt as if he'd suffer from a heart attack, but at the same time didn't want to die. There was no moment that he'd wanted to live more than in this moment.He felt so warm despite the cold whip of air that snapped past them.

"I love you, Shigure," she whispered. She'd wanted to shout it but the kiss had rendered her voice unable to go above a whisper. He weakened her vocal cords. She didn't have to worry if he had heard her or not (but the knowing smile of his indicated that he had). He knew without needing words.

She fell deeper into his chest, tying her arms around his waist. They were going to change together. It was human nature to have a Gimme side. She knew that now. But she was going to be more giving, starting with her beloved.

"I'm going to give you... everything," she vowed.

He nodded. "And I'm going to give you everything."

With the word they uttered in unison, gimme, they were tied to each other.

_Let's always stay like this, Shigure_, she thought as her lips sought out his again. _Let's be together always. We'll change together._

_Let's stay like this until forever_.


	9. Sick, Sick, SICK!

Chapter 9 was the official ending. This isn't an alternate ending. It's just...one of those I-couldn't-sleep, so-I-thought-I'd-make-this-up things. It's intended to be funny, so laugh! Just kidding... Or am I? You will like it... ((employs Sparkly-Eyed Technique))

Disclaimer: I don't own Furuba.

* * *

Shigure's head was atop Kagura's when he heard the shoji slam. Hm. That must be Tohru and Kyou. It couldn't be Yuki; he knew he was asleep.

"Kyou-kun!" he greeted with a giant grin. "It's two in the morning! You scared me half to death!"

Kyou wasn't smiling, but when was he when it came to Shigure? Kyou was livid. Absolutely livid. So livid that pissed-off wouldn't cover the extent of his ire. Tohru was oddly subdued beside him, looking as if she were dazed.

"You dick!" His hand connected with the front of his yukata as he slammed him into a wall. Kagura called out in protest as her chin fell in midair to the hard floor. Kyou yelled, red faced, at the novelist, shaking him repeatedly.

"What the hell? Kyou-kun, stop it!" she ordered as she scrambled to her feet. She was about to peel him off of Shigure when she gave the assaulted a look. "What did you do, Shigure?"

"Why are you taking his side?" he wailed. Kyou's attention had wavered, and he saw his chance to get up without facing an attack. He didn't have to hold in his laughter this time. It was an inopportune time to laugh, seeing as he'd shattered his innocent act. But whatever. Kyou already had caught on. No need to put on this big farce anymore.

"When you gave us the tickets," he spat through tightly clenched teeth, "I didn't question it too much. You don't just give things away, Shigure. But I was in a hurry."

"How was the movie?"

"Don't be such a wise ass!" Kyou punched him.

Kagura punched Kyou.

"Hey!" He spun around to face an angry Kagura. "What the hell was that for?"

"I wasn't going to let you beat up my boyfriend like that!"

"Your... boyfriend?" He blinked.

Shigure smiled as he attached himself to Kagura's side. "Yes. The two of us are in love, and we want to be with each other forever."

"But why did you go out with your editor?" He shook his head as if to erase that contemplation from his mind. "Okay. We'll settle this calmly. No fighting. Just don't say something smart, Shigure."

"Okay, I won't." A pause. "But, really, how was the movie?"

"Jackass!" He smacked him in the side of his head.

"I wasn't being smart. Just wondering what you thought of it. I wrote the script."

Kagura looked at him questioningly. "Wrote the script? Of what?"

"Even...Though... I... Love You," Kyou ground out from between tightly clenched teeth. "Apparently, some studio morons thought it would be a wise decision to make one of his books into a movie."

"The original title was Waves of Ocean-hued Desire," Shigure said with a pout. "But the title, the studio people thought, was too... graphic, I guess."

"Graphic? The whole movie was graphic! It makes the original title look innocent!" Kyou shrieked. "Anyway, the studio gave him three tickets for the movie, one for him, two for whoever wanted to see that piece of filth with him. And he gave me and Tohru two tickets without warning!"

"But can't you take a joke, Kyou-kun?"

"No! It was sick! Sick, sick, SICK!"

Finally, the pale girl how had stood apart from them approached them, saying, "Well, it... I mean it wasn't bad, Kyou-kun. The actors were very, um, very talented and the... the soundtrack was nice. A--And the message in the film was..."

"Don't make excuses for him, Tohru!" Kyou yelled.

"Don't order Tohru-kun around!" Kagura shouted with an elbow slammed into the top of his orange head.

"Don't eat all the rice balls, Shigure, Kyou," Yuki said as he walked down the stairs, rubbing his eyes, "

"...Who invited you into this conversation?" Kyou demanded.

Yuki paused. "How could I not? I got a special invitation from all the way upstairs. Meaning that it was your big mouth that did it, of course."

"Hey!" He shook his fist at Yuki. "Don't play clever with me!"

"I don't have to be clever. I already am. It must suck for you to have so little brain cells, doesn't it, Kyou." He went up the stairs with a glass of water and a rice ball.

"Keep walking, Rat boy."

"I have to. I have to walk to get to my room."

"Again with the smart act!"

"Hey, hey! What about the matter at hand?" He turned to Tohru. "You really liked the acting? I had some say in the casting of the roles. Thank you, Tohru. And before you scream about how lewd it was, Kyou-kun, I have to say that I don't think it was at all," he huffed. With disappointed eyes, he continued, "There were a lot of important things that were left out. The sex scenes were really watered down and there were a lot more in the book than in the movie. But I liked it. It was the perfect," he grinned, "blend of action and romance. Just as I'd advertised."

It took Kyou a while to get what he meant by action. "...I thought you meant another kind of action!"

"Okay, before you kill me, let me say something in my defense." He swept an appeasing glance around to the people in the room. "I was being giving. Imagine, me sacrificing Hatori's and Ayame's tickets to speed up your relationship! I made a date with Mii-chan, figuring I'd be out of the house for a few hours. Yuki would be gone as well, seeing as he was at the main house. And after seeing such a romantic movie, the two of you would come home and...well... Well, it's been a year, and you haven't even made it past first base, have you. I bet you don't even know what that even looks like. Maybe you two would've...consummated your relationship."

"You're sick, you're sick, you're sick! Sick, you hear me? SICK!" He began assaulting him again. "Do you know what you did to Tohru? You scarred her for life! All in the name of what you call a good joke!"

"Kyou." The woman approached her cousin, face clouded in shadows. "Get off of Shigure."

"...I... You..." He looked at Shigure, then at Kagura, then back at Shigure. He had run into her violent bursts long enough to realize that now was a good time to do what she said. He lowered his fists and fluttered over to Tohru, asking her gently if she wanted to eat something.

"Shigure." Her voice was crystallized sugar, perky and loaded with sweetness as she beamed at him.

"Yeah?" He lifted himself off of the floor.

"Didn't I say that I would give you everything?"

"...Yes. You did."

"Yes. Because I love you. So, even though I love you, I have to give you something very...UNPLEASANT!" Her furiously pounding hands rained on his face and chest. Soon, those smacks transformed into gut-wrenching punches.

"Ow! Ow! Mercy! This hurts!" His arms were tossed atop his head to stop the blows, but it wasn't effective.

"I'm going to be a Giver starting right now, Shii-chan, and punish you!" she promised to the sound of his shrieks. "You shouldn't have done such a thing. Look what you did to Tohru-kun! Hey!" She shook Shigure, who had closed eyes. "You can't just pass out now! I'm not done yet! Listen to me when I speak to you!"

"I'm conscious... I just pretended to be unconscious so you would stop hitting me. But you're so cruel! You really would beat me up if I was unconscious!"

She released him, wiping her perspiring brow with the sleeve of her shirt.

Kyou looked at the couple, sweatdropping. "That used to be me," he said, referring to the battered Shigure. He crossed himself. "Thank God for small miracles."


End file.
